There once was a man named Beyoncé
Who wanted to have a fiancee
But the girls were all like
“Why’s your name not like ‘Mike?’”
Now he goes by his middle name: Chauncey.
Tag Archives: Short
Male Black Widow Problems
Today is Friday night.
I’m with my darling wife.
We’re gonna have some crazy sex
‘Cause I am done with life.
Filed under Poems
Love and War
Whenever Italy gets attacked
Someone must fell Rome,
Someone conquers Cicily,
Burns a Venetian home…
Yes, in an Italian conquest
These sackings are the staples
But a satisfying extra
Is somebody licked their Naples.
Filed under Poems
Why Do You Think The Moon Is Trying To Grow Ever Closer To Us?
I think the moon is angry
(An observation and a warning)
Because everyone says “Goodnight Moon”
But they never say “Good morning.”
Filed under Poems
When The Kisses Miss The Missus
When you refuse my kiss
I feel something’s amiss.
When you deny my peck
I think “What the heck?”
When you dodge my caress
I feel some duress.
When you deny being osculated
I feel emosculated.
Filed under Poems
Audubon Abbreviated
A group of owls is a congress,
A group of crows, a murder.
Anything else just call a flock
And you’ll pass as a birder.
Filed under Poems
New England Whalers (I Looked It Up)
Since I’m now in the habit
Of poems that are quick:
Whoever named Sperm Whales
Was really a dick.
Filed under Poems
A Bad Choice Does Not Imply That It’s Alternative Is Good
The tiger is a fancy beast
That thinks of you as Fancy Feast.
If you’re not a fan of dyin’
You should only hug a lion.
Filed under Poems
I’m Sleepy, You Have Low Expectations… Let’s Compromise
Brevity is a virtue…
Perfect rhyming too
I have one of those
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 