Grizzly bear
Sitting there
Playing with
My ex-wife’s hair.
He seems happy.
She seems dead.
Yes I’m morbid.
Now, off to bed.
Tag Archives: Stupid
Self-Discovery, The Very-Old Fashioned Way
If I were a trilobite
I’d be very lonely.
I’d go on trilodate.com
But I’d find myself only.
I’d be alone through every night
And have very little fun.
But I realize I don’t know what I trilobite is
And also that I just might be one.
Filed under Poems
I Had An Idea And I Ran With It… Please Don’t Sue Me
I read a headline today
About some medical supplements
Who killed a baker’s apprentice.
I couldn’t help but say “oh boy.”
What else can you say
When you read in the paper
A headline that says
“Pills bury dough boy.”
Filed under Poems
You CAN’t Win ‘Em All
If I CAN be CANdid
That which CAN be CANned
CAN make an author realize
That their idea doesn’t have
A logical and satisfying conclusion.
Filed under Poems
Apparently, Caring About The Details Is Somewhat Important
Flashlight, flashdark,
Flash anywhere.
Just so long as you flash me
I really do not care.
Flashlight, flashdark,
Flash all sorts of beams.
I’ll flash you all you want
Every night inside your dreams.
Filed under Poems
I-68, She Younger
I asked a gal if she wanted
To do the back-seat bingo,
Which is why I lost twenty dollars
To a gal who don’t know 50’s lingo.
Filed under Poems
Stanzas 2, Thought 0
When I moved into
The mobile home park
I thought my life
Was turning dark,
But I found pleasure
As I sought paying labors
In the form of melo-
Dramatic neighbors.
If you say “hello”
They say “Hail traveler!”
You say “I like Charizard,”
And they say “I love Graveler!”
It’s like they’re in a movie,
So although my life’s a failure
I take solace in the fact
They’re a theatrical trailer.
Filed under Poems
Never Thought I’d Miss “Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?” But Alas…
“If I were a pickled spleen
Kept in a jar for 30 years
Charged with electrical current
In a chamber full of your darkest fears,
Then released from the jar on a Sunday
And carried overseas by some birds
To attend celebrations in Istanbul
Would you still kiss me afterwards?”
Filed under Poems
Evidence For Those In Support Of The Belief That Puns Are The Lowest Form Of Humor
Sometimes I take a bath
To ease the stress of taxation.
I fill the tub with herbs
Such as thyme for relaxation.
Filed under Poems
A Treatise On Cooperation With Government… Sort Of
Two children sit and watch a thing
That’s orange and round and fun.
One says “it’s warm and so it must
“Be a piece of fallen sun.”
One says “I can slam dunk it
“So it’s a basketball.”
Another says “it’s a tangerine!
“Do you know nothing at all?”
And I, with silent others, watch
Them call a pizza many names.
Some kids voted between them
When the appropriate moment came,
Yet I, when shown a pizza
And was asked “robot or duck?”
Didn’t vote for either answer
Because dishonest answers suck.
As the other children compromised
And said “Fine! It’s a goat!”
I ate and shared the pizza
With the others who didn’t vote.
The Daily Travesty 