Roses are red and violets are blue
And people say dragons aren’t real
But I think the dragons, between me and you,
Ran out of princesses to steal
And so turned to work outside their tradition
Like enrolling the maidens in college
Where they charge a fortune for the latest edition
Of textbooks for more useless knowledge.
Filed under Poems
The Left
If your daughter tells you “Mother
“I am actually your son”
Then tell him that’s amazing
And he’s still your favorite one.
The Right
If she says she wants testosterone
Tell her she’s testost-on-her-own.
Filed under Poems
“It’s my emotional support animal”, I said
But she just continued to glare.
She must prefer her support fluffy
But I like mine medium-rare.
Filed under Poems
So I got a notification
That says God is following my blog…
I guess I’m no longer an atheist
And perhaps I should learn how to jog?
Filed under Poems
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again
But Humpty was happy that all was resolved
Without the Minnesota Vikings involved.
Filed under Poems
At 11:59 on December 31st
A ball fell in NYC.
It was at that moment Turbotax
Said “It’s time to remind you of me!”
Filed under Poems
There once was a marketing guy
Who was looking for what you should buy.
There was a gym with some rope
And he said “It’d be dope
“If we whip those around. Don’t ask why.”
Filed under Poems
I read a study recently
Where folks read poetry
Written both by poets
And impostor GPTs.
The funny part is readers
Rated all the AI stuff
Better in every category
Than the real poets’ fluff.
The only metric humans
Could equal AI at
Was the “originality” category.
Can you imagine that?
So, yes, robots are winning
But I’ll peacefully nap
Knowing I still have a stranglehold
On writing strictly crap.
For those interested: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-76900-1
Filed under Poems
We’ve reached the point in Monopoly
Where all the property’s gone
And one rich guy is making
Everybody else a pawn
So why are we surprised
When the thimbles of the world
Decide it’s time the tables flipped
And wads of cash get hurled?
Filed under Poems
To all of you who laughed at me
When I said “Dragons are real”
I present you: California.
Now how do you feel?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 