There once was a gym teacher, Hank
Who I for one think we should thank.
He said, “Movement is bad
“And it makes me sad”
And so he invented the plank.
Tag Archives: Truth
True Story (Unfortunately)
Tonight, when playing pickleball
I did a little dance
While trying to smack that fickle ball
And oops! I ripped my pants!
I learned to play more cautiously.
Also, for what it’s worth
I’ve secured my reputation
As the whitest man on Earth.
Filed under Poems
7-9-7
If you make a long haiku
With too many syllables in it
Nothing changes. Lighten up.
Filed under Poems
Gentlemen Prefer S#%^+ing At Home
If I can see through the ply
I think I’d rather die.
Filed under Poems
Bille Nye The Science Guy 3, Starring Chris Rock
We’ve finally reached the place
Where Hollywood’s gotten so mid
Black actors are turning down starring roles
And bringing milk home for their kid.
Filed under Poems
Know Your Role!
Women are possessed of powers
Men cannot explain
But sitting on the toilet for half an hour
Is strictly man’s domain.
Filed under Poems
Late Night?
Growing up is when you play
D&D 12 hours a day.
Being an adult is when your Bard
Says “It’s 9:00 guys. We worked too hard.”
Filed under Poems
Another Unifying Political Policy… Almost
I think most people are open
To human sacrifice. However
We disagree on who gets picked
And who will pull the lever.
Filed under Poems
Thank You For Calling
Your call is very important to us
So please enjoy this ditty
Until your soul gets old and grey.
Alas! It’s such a pity
That this call is very important to us
Yet all that you can do
Is stay on the line until nothing is fine
And the call’s not important to you.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 