Wrapping paper tube
In my mind a light saber
Wife is not impressed
Tag Archives: Winter
Yuletide Reflections
I was looking for a winter poem
That I’d already written.
I looked back through my archives
And read rhymes old me was spittin’.
Apparently I’m cynical
And full of twists and turns
And wrote more words like “Dumbass”
Than “yuletides” or “yearns”.
This Winter I’ll aspire
To be merrier than that,
But Winter’s in December
So for now yo mama’s fat.
Filed under Poems
A Winter Drive Haiku
Twinkling blacktop ice
Gleams like diamonds. I turn right
But my car goes left.
Filed under Poems
A Winter’s Tune
When your heart calls to its pair
Through the rime of Winter’s air
Be sure it’s cry is strong and true
So its twin may sing to you.
But should your heart’s dear, after pause,
Sing “I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause”
You may be wise to weave and sway
Then run like Hell the other way.
Filed under Poems
So Ended The Artistic Career Of Coal-Eyed Jack
Once a man who had no legs
And really skinny arms
Made a statue of himself.
He didn’t see the harm,
And so he rolled three balls of snow
And stacked them one by one
Until a rabbit ate his nose
And spoiled all the fun.
Filed under Poems
Famous Last Words from History
Long ago, when Earth was young
And Blockbuster was a thing
My girlfriend wanted me to find
A Pixar film to bring
So we might watch a family film
Where balloons can lift a house
Because we already saw the ones
With Toys and the gourmet mouse.
So I left home that evening
O’er icy roads to see
If the Blockbuster Video
Would rent us ‘Up’ on DVD.
All was fine at first
Until I parked and stepped outside
At which point I took quite a spill
And eventually I died…
My final act was calling
My beloved on my cell
As I saw the tunnel fill with light
And started off to Hell:
“Hey honey, this is Jeremy.
“You’d best put down your cup.
“I just wanted to let you know
“I’ve fallen and I can’t get ‘Up.'”
Filed under Poems
The Truly Special Snowflake
I’m walking through the winter sky,
A bit if H2O,
Uniquely changed by hardship to
A tiny flake of snow.
My life is but a moment long,
But soft and cool and free.
My heart will always be cold as ice
So yours won’t have to be.
The mighty citadels of clouds
Are signs of what I was,
But I don’t mind departing, for
It’s what a snowflake does
So a kid at the windowsill
Will see me, clear and bright
And now that for a while still
The world will be alright.
Filed under Poems
The Silent Poet: This Is Why We Hibernate…
Amidst the misty morning,
Atop the naïve snow,
The thin white wind blew, chilly,
‘Neath sun’s unearthly glow.
The living glass of needles
Lay beneath the stalwart fir
And I, the bear, thought all this
But, alas, could only say “grr.”
Filed under Poems
Snow Days
Today I tried to do nothing.
I stayed in bed all day.
I didn’t eat or drink or poop
Or breathe or sweat or pray.
I avoided salivating
And I didn’t leave my room.
I didn’t shower so my odor
Now surrounds me in a plume.
I didn’t read or watch TV.
I didn’t surf the net.
I did not look out the window
And I didn’t feed my pet.
I neglected all life’s naggings
And engaged in nary a vice
And if tomorrow’s snowy also,
Well, I just might do it twice!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 