A poem without rhyming’s
Like a cheeseburger without cheese,
A BLT with no tomato,
A bowl of carrots without peas.
A poem without rhyming
Lacks flavor and synergy
But alas I’m on a diet
And must cut whatever calories I can…
Tag Archives: Bad
Hey, it’s been like 90 days since I was this lame, so you’re welcome 😋
I worked 13 hours today
So a two line poem is a-ok.
Filed under Poems
At Least I Commit To Finishing Acrostics Though
I is for the intimacy we have yet to share
M is for the the many ways I show you I care
N is for how no one can compare
E is for “except that girl who has the pretty hair.”
V is for how very sorry I will claim to be
E is for that exceptional hair I never will unsee…
R is for I’m really sorry this time. Forgive me?
G is for the gift I’ll buy to say that I’m sorry
E is for how every day you give me another chance.
T is for the tightness you inspire in my pants
T is for your temperance, which totally rhymes with “dance”
I is for how I hope to rekindle our romance
N is for how nuts it is I ogle other girls
G is for “good thing I’m not into hair with sexy curls.”
L is for how light catches her hair as it unfurls…
A is for “Alright, alright! I’ll buy you some new pearls.”
I is for I really wish I were a better dude
D is for “Doggone it, if you weren’t such a prude…”
A is for apologizing for how I am lewd
G is for the golden curls falling upon the nude…
A is for “At least I didn’t finish the previous line.”
I is for the infinite ways you, my dear, are fine.
N is the never being bad again if you’ll remain as mine.
! is the punctuation after you vehemently decline.
Filed under Poems
It Began As A Sleepy Soliloquy… It Ended As A Halftime Show
It’s past the time I need to go
To sleep, but here am I
Writing rhymes that rhyme sometimes
As many times I try
And why I try, I cannot lie,
Is just to try my luck
‘Cause I have no skill, but possibly still
I’ll be famous if I say white people suck.
Filed under Poems
Ever Have That Dream That Happens Over and Over? Yeah…
So today my poem
Is autobiographical,
But that doesn’t mean it’s boring
Nor that it is bull…
I got up at 6:00 AM
And worked for 9 long hours,
After which I got undressed
For three back-to-back showers.
During shower number three
My brain turned on a sec
And instead of thinking, “Ooh, warm water”
It thought “Oh shoot! Oh heck!
“I was supposed to take a test
“That’s due at 5:00 PM!”
It thus proceeded to haw
And also, a bit, to hem.
Well, I expect to get a C
In the class who test I missed,
But instead of being angry, angsty,
Nervous, sad, or pissed
I decided to look on
The sunny side of life:
I know my dreams can come true now!
Now who’s that with my wife…?
Filed under Poems
When Life Gives You
Steve the alligator
Looked at the lemon rind
That, squeezed out and discarded,
In the swamp he did find.
The lemon said “Life gave me
“And thus did I die,
“So I warn you dear gator
“That your time is nigh.”
Filed under Poems
There’s Always A Deeper Depravity…
I don’t go to parties
Because I am a geek.
I have never cut my hair
Because I am a freak.
I play old school RPGs
Because I am a dork,.
I’m still proud because I don’t
Eat pizza with a fork.
Filed under Poems
‘Cause Chicks Love Poetry
When my friends ask me
“Why are you still single?”
I tell them my hobby
Is sitting, staring at my phone, trying to think of a satisfying rhyme for single
So I can finish my poem
That I write on my blog-ingle.
Filed under Poems
Yeah… Not Inspired Lately
All these folks are making jokes
Like why was six afraid of seven?
So seven ate nine, that’s well and fine
But I’ve got a joke sent from heaven:
Why were e people
Afraid of the letter W?
Cause White people.
Haha, hehe, whoo!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 