If I were a monster
I’d want to be Godzilla.
He’s the definition of
A true cold-blooded killa’.
And if the other monsters
Were being unfriendly blokes
I could prob’ly diss them with
A good “your Mothra” joke.
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If I could be a monster
A dragon’d be real swell.
If I exhale heavily
The room would go to Hell.
I’d hang out with princesses
And burn knights on a stick
And although I couldn’t use it much
I’d have a giant… wingspan.
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I want to be a monster
And as a white man I’m quite close.
If only I could do something
That’s really, really gross…
All these thoughts of monsters
Have really gotten to me,
But since I can’t be Godzilla
I’ll just vote for Hillary!
The Daily Travesty 