Free college is nice
But some don’t want it.
Free healthcare is grand
But some people taunt it.
If we want to please
The entire USA
Pass a law that makes
Every day Saturday!
Tag Archives: Happiness
Wallace and Gromit
It’s truly not a hoax
That there are only two types of folks:
Those who think Wensleydale is cracking
And those whose education is lacking.
Filed under Poems
You Have It, But You Choose How
I share with you a secret
That you think cannot be true:
That everything to ever be
Exists solely for you,
That every book and every shell
And every coin and bill
And every star and sunrise
And every sloping hill
Exist as in a melody
From one eternal voice,
That you might seek to claim them
Through your only power: choice.
For if you choose to value wealth
Then wealth you will attain
Through labor, luck, investment,
Or through theft and threat of pain.
Perhaps you value honesty
And see all worldly truth,
Or perhaps you choose your body,
To sustain the light of youth.
But though the universe is yours
You cannot hold a star
For the heat of it would burn you up
(And also, it’s too far).
So too, if wealth should pass you by
Or youth and strength should wane
That too’s the gift of everything
Preventing unseen pain.
So if you wish to value
That which pleases most of all,
Don’t wish for that which others give
(Or to be six feet tall)
But choose to value where you are,
To dream only to be,
And you shall live in paradise
For all eternity.
Filed under Poems
Success Is A Choice
Somewhere past the mountains,
O’er the river, by the glade
Is a land of fame and fortune
Where a fellow might get laid.
Somewhere by my bedside
There’s chocolate cake and beer
And a whole day to play Skyrim
So my choice is pretty clear.
Filed under Poems
I Dream
I dream of a Utopia
Where no one eats for free,
Where no elected shadow
Dictates how I must be me,
A place I can be lonely
When I don’t want to fight.
Utopia, I know you’re there
Smiling, out of sight.
I’m homesick for Utopia,
Where death is commonplace,
Where value lies within the heart
Instead of on the face,
A world of small discomforts
That all will know and love
And one where there’s no safety net
Or eyes from up above.
The void between Utopia
And where I’m standing now
Is only empty space to cross,
And so I take a vow
To walk beyond the cliff I see,
To fall, or else to fly.
My body may not make it;
That’s how I know it’s worth a try.
Filed under Poems
Hallelujah
There lived a man who wished to die,
With lips malformed so when he’d sigh
The anguish that emerged was like
The first sunrise of Spring.
The humans that he’d never known
Had from all places to him flown
With no intent to comfort him
But just to hear him sing.
The singer sang, the cryer cried
To oceans deep and mountains wide
And every human listener thought
The singer read their mind.
The speaker spoke, the moaner moaned.
His sorrows said, his hopes intoned
Leaving unspoken just enough,
Ensuring seekers find.
He screamed at them in loneliness:
A girl in far too short a dress
Confused by why she couldn’t find
A man who’d stay ’til morning
And, to the men who eyed her, said
To see her heart before her bed
But all they heard were pretty words
And not the singer’s warning.
He sang to those who owned the gold,
The young who’d never gotten old,
The old who’d never been a child,
To those without a penny.
His sharing was his means to cope.
His medicine was spreading hope
Perhaps to you, the listening few
Among the mindless many.
The living listened as he cried,
He sang also to those who died,
A song for all who made mistakes
And sought to change their fate.
Some say that Satan turned to hear
And even shed a single tear.
Although the angel fell from grace
His wings might still bear weight.
No one asked the singer’s name.
To his wake no listeners came
For clouds above were pearly white
And sky above was blue.
Thus did the singer move along.
No longer needed was his song.
The singer lives forever
Even though his wish came true.
What Do You Want For Dinner?
If there were a food
Whose taste was so divine
To eat it made you orgasm
In an instant forty times,
That not only set your loins alight
But set your heart afire,
A food so good it’s better than
Hearing Taylor Swift retire,
And that this oh-so-perfect food
Can be grown nearly for free,
Can be cooked in 19 seconds
And cures world hunger instantly,
Is the most positive thing in the universe,
Like -1 times the all-time worst
Your girlfriend would whine about it
If you suggested to eat it first.
Filed under Poems
Gobbledegook
In the wilds of Gobbledegook
Are paths too many overlook.
One path most people think is lost
Leads to a world exempt of cost,
Where man and nature have no laws,
Where an effect may have no cause,
Where you may hear a singsong tune
That smells like sunset on the moon.
The goblins that live in this land
Live lives most thoroughly unplanned,
Not to be shared with people doomed
To travel on a path more groomed.
If you are one who seeks to find
The secrets of the unthought mind,
To seek safety via dangers
Know this: Goblins welcome strangers.
All you need to live for free
Is to stare at what you can’t see.
The best place to start to not look?
Try the wilds of Gobbledegook.
Filed under Poems
Let Life End As It Began
I want to die of an orgasm.
It’s a death that would leave me content
And the folks at my wake
Would say “for goodness’ sake
“That poet, he came and he went.”
Unsung
Amid a thousand oceans
Each a million miles wide,
In a world of fire and darkness
Wherein countless billions died,
A world of steel and angels
Where dragons fill the sky
There lives alone amidst the trees
One totally normal guy.
And as the forests rise into
The universe above
And about him rages endless war,
Between hatred and love,
Surrounded by heroic few
Defenders of what’s right
He lies back on his sofa bed
And tells himself “Good night.”
Saints are slain and martyrs made,
The underworld calls those
Whom destiny has newly bade
To be those whom death chose
Mountains crumble feebly
And utopias collide
And that single lonely sofa man
Just mumbles, “Hey, I tried.”
And though he never earned a place
Among the Gods or Lords of Deep
He ate a balanced diet
And always got a good night’s sleep.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 