I’m still sick after 96 hours,
Plentiful pills, and hot, steamy showers.
I feel lousy, and still poems I write
So give me some pity likes! And with that, good night.
Tag Archives: poems
Careful Where You Hang Your Hat
Some friends and I were mucking about
The attic when we found
And old top hat with a label that
Said “This makes men dance around.”
So we rolled some snowballs up
And made a face of carrot and coal
And we plopped that cap on the snowy chap
And pretended he had a soul.
Alas, for us, the sun was hot
And dancers tend to sweat
So when the day had gone away
That magic hat was wet,
So we hung it by the fire
Atop Grandpa’s antique poker…
So yes officer, that’s what did this to her.
‘Twas Frosty’s spirit that done broke ‘er!
Filed under Poems
English 101
There once was a five paragraph essay
That had one compelling thing to say
Then repeated that message
Twice, then thrice for to stressage
That there once was a five paragraph essay.
Filed under Poems
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humptulips,_Washington
There once was a man from Humptulips
Who worked in a restaurant for a few tips.
He made decent money
But mostly it’s just funny
That there’s an actual town called Humptulips.
Filed under Poems
Sick Day Haiku
I am sick tonight
Full of aches and pains and snot…
But the bat tastes good!
Filed under Poems
Somewhere In California
My man bought a Tesla
Which would normally be fun
But it came with a purse
And his hair’s now a bun.
I told him I liked him
Because he was manly.
Now he’s leaving me
For his old roommate, Stanley.
Filed under Poems
Streaming Exclusively On Disney Plus
I think it would be fun
If they made a new Jumanji movie
But it was a free-to-play mobile Jumanji
And they spent all five hours of the movie
Grinding for Jumanjewels
Before they gave up and decided
The old, murdery Jumanji
Wasn’t that bad after all…
Filed under Poems
Yeah, It’s Annoying, Isn’t It! (My Next Poem Will Be Split Into Two Posts For Length)
There once was a cinematic sequel
With a cliffhanger end like no equal.
The heroes were shocked
When the villain they mocked
Turned out to be…
Filed under Poems
Growing Up
It snowed! It snowed!
Hip-hippidy-hoodle!
It’s fluffy and white
And a plush poofy poodle.
They’ll close all the schools
And as a result
I’ll be even more disappointed
That I’m an adult.
Filed under Poems
Midweek Passion
Baby, when I look at you
All sexy Thursday night
I think of how you’d look if you
Would move towards the right
And stand beside the TV screen
All cute. I want to cheer
‘Cause I can watch the game again.
Oh hey, grab me a beer!
The Daily Travesty 