If the pro-lifers want to win
They just need Trump to say
“Abortion is a bigly good
“And also I’m a gay.”
Tag Archives: poems
A Near Miss
I was feeling unfulfilled
As I browsed the worldwide web.
My loneliness was at its peak,
My energy at ebb.
Then I saw an advertisement
That said “Hot Singles Near You.”
I turned on my ad blocker
And was lonely again. Phew!
Filed under Poems
It’s Only Right You Suffer For My Mistakes
Yesterday I wrote two poems.
I feel like a dunce.
I meant one to be published tomorrow (today?)
But it got published at once.
Because of my mistake that day
You must hear me now annunc…
Iate. Yes, this poem is pointless
And every other line rhymes with “grunce.”
Filed under Poems
OKICURAB
Some think the title is an advocacy group.
Some read “Ok, I see you are a bee.”
Some think it’s the name of a fantasy villain,
And only the last group plays D&D.
Filed under Poems
This Is Probably Sexist…
Science has concluded
That for most life on earth
The number of penises you have
Is inversely correlated with your odds of giving birth.
Filed under Poems
Now That’s A Team That’s Cooking With Gas
Vikings killed a lot of folks;
Bears and lions too.
Warriors kill a lot of folks
‘Cause that’s just what they do.
Tigers, dolphins, bulldogs, eagles
Kill lots of stuff, and yet
No high school that I know of
Has picked a Hitler mascot yet.
Filed under Poems
Yes, I’m A White Male. Why Do You Ask?
There are as many guns as people
In the USA.
There are more rounds of ammo
Than people in history.
Yet you think murder will stop
If guns go away.
Your method of thinking…
Now that is a mystery!
Filed under Poems
One Man’s Trash…
I went to a Motel 6
To a room filled with 8 lamps.
It seemed to me a haven
For only travelers and tramps.
Yet that Motel 6 I thought had been
Summed up as “dim and blah”
Was, to the moths that shared the room
A sort of Shangri La.
Filed under Poems
The Hero We Deserve
I hope somewhere there is a bat
Who’s terrified of men
Who flew off to train with ninjas
And (insert syllables here) then
He became a vigilante
Fighting crime and stuff like that.
He holes up in his man cave
Because he’s called Manbat.
He wears a man-shaped costume
With a cape that’s shaped like fat.
The drives his manmobile badly
Because he is a bat.
I want this very badly
Mostly ’cause of the “man cave” pun.
His sidekick is called Flamingo
And yes, this poem is done.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 