“Anybody want some peas?”
Everyone said yes.
“Anyone want pewps?”
Perhaps next year, I guess…
Tag Archives: Poetry
Haiku for Hope
Broken pottery
By the lawn I haven’t mown
And my old blue truck;
Living comfortably
And all that I sacrificed
Was my lofty goals.
Then a cool pillow
When I wake and feel refreshed
Like when I was young;
That ginger sunrise
Isn’t unattainable
If I love enough.
Filed under Poems
And Potlucks Were Never The Same Again
Once upon a time
In a land of myth and ballad
Someone mixed a lot of plants
And called the result a salad.
Later, in Minnesota
Someone mixed mayonnaise
With literally anything at all
And said “Salad happens in many ways.”
Filed under Poems
Seriously… It’s On I-5 Exit 135. Now THAT Is Optimism
No matter how bad a day you had
You’re not as bad off as the guy
Who made an SOS out of rocks beneath the overpass
In case a savior might fly by.
Filed under Poems
Tonight, Luigi Prevailed. Tomorrow, I Have No Friends
Apparently I’m talented
At playing rhythm games.
I can bop and press in time
And kick butt and take names.
If I were a younger soul
Perhaps I’d be a drummer
But instead I’m relegated to
Being a B-List plumber.
Filed under Poems
I Just Wanted To Rhyme Things… Don’t Overthink It
If I had a baby shark
I’d never need an exclamation mark.
If I had a baby llama
I’d never use another comma.
If I had pets that numbered myriads
I would be all done with periods.
Alas, my only pet’s a cat
So there! I’m done, and that was that.
Filed under Poems
Realistic Fitness Goals
I went back to the gym today,
Got my badge, and paid my way
So I can flex my body parts
That got flabby ‘cause I do arts.
I will go at least once more
‘Cause I paid for months-comma-four.
I’ll get my Summer body, y’all
Just in time for the start of Fall!
Filed under Poems
Win-Win
If I could pick an animal
To switch bodies for a day
I think I’d pick a rattlesnake
Because I’d like to say
I gave the snake a chance to feel
What having limbs is like,
And as a bonus shake my ass
Before I rear and strike!
I’d like to be a rattlesnake
But more importantly
When I get my body back
People’d no longer mess with me.
Filed under Poems
Philosophy 101
Whatever you’ve heard, forget it!
Whatever you know, you don’t.
Everyone thinks they are brainy
But most of their brains grown’t.
Ignorance is epidemic.
No knowledge or sense can be common.
Now pay your tuition and fill out this form
And go back to your dorm and eat ramen.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 