Tag Archives: Poetry

Just Like Being A Real General, But Without The Pay

All of those violent video games…

The ones with the Nazis and guns…

Are thought by most people as harmless,

Just mindless and gory and fun.

They think they’re just one simulation

Of engaging in conquest and war

Where a kid can sit down for an evening

And proceed to, the whole world, ignore.

But when you grow up you realize

And begin to see children who stare

At a screen sending soldiers to slaughter

With less than a whiff of a care

And you realize with eyes open wider

And a hint of an older man’s sorrow:

They’re not corrupting the youth after all:

They’re training the kings of tomorrow.

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Big Girls Are Settling Now

I read an inspiring article

About how blue whales reproduce.

Apparently, they interbreed with fin whales

Who are not as large or recluse.

The fact that these largest of animals

Might bring their endangerment to an end

Gives me hope. It should give you hope too

That a blue whale might be your girlfriend.

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In Retrospect, The End Result Is The Same

Since democracy is suspect now

I’d like to propose a solution

That could make our governments honest

If we ensure proper execution:

Everyone who wants something to change

Writes down their ideas. Then next

They go in a pit with a cheetah or two

And whoever lasts longest we elect.

On the bright side, the number of lawyers will drop

And less people will share their dumb thoughts;

On the other hand, cheetahs don’t like to eat metal

So we’d end up all governed by bots…

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Sorry Mom!

Yesterday I launched a book.

My mother went to take a look.

She clicked on the link I left

And found herself feeling bereft.

Turns out the link I left was lame

And I’m the only one to blame.

Try this link instead! I hope

That this time I am not a dope.

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Launch Day!

Hello dear readers!

I write you today

With a break from the “ick”

And a fair dose of “yay”.

Available now

Is my most recent book,

Selected poems on love.

Go ahead! Take a look!

It’s called “Cheaper Than Flowers”

And that is the truth.

If you order now

It will not be uncouth:

It’s a wonderful gift

For Valentine’s day

For that lover of yours

Who just won’t go away…

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The Superbowl… Biden Vs. Trump… Yeah, We’re In A Loop

The groundhog saw his shadow

And the Summer’s coming soon.

Now we have another choice:

Giant meteor or typhoon?

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Live To Fight Another Month

There once was a man with a wife

Who, for some reason, valued his life.

Twas the week of the shark,

So he went to the park

Knowing she’s apt to wield a knife.

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Social Media Press Releases

You know that one app

That you use every day

With a UX that’s perfect

In every way?

About that… I’ve great nees

To share here today:

We’ve launched a new update!

You just have to pay…

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Do I Sense A Theme?

So somebody made a game called Palworld

That’s like Pokemon with guns

But instead of having free healthcare

It’s a survival game, which is fun.

The last time that I can remember

About Japanese monsters with guns

Was either the movie Godzilla

Or 1945 with megatons…

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My Superbowl Thoughts

On the one hand, I’m disappointed.

On the other hand, I am ok

That I don’t have to spend my whole afternoon

Watching both teams I hate get to play.

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