When your heart beats really fast
That’s tachycardia
(Or so the doctors would have you believe).
But if your heart beats quickly
And you’re upper-middle class
It’s classycardia. (Ok, I’ll leave)
Tag Archives: Short
Pronunciation Matters
The church tells us
That prejudice is bad.
On the other hand, pre-Judas
Were the best years Jesus had.
It’s A Product And A Profession (Not Cannibals… The Other Bit)
Cannibals be like:
“Poultry farmers over there!“
“Chicken tenders! Yum!”
Filed under Poems
Innocence Dies First, Closely Followed By Spontaneity
Being an adult
Means you schedule things like sex
And video games
I Write While Sleepy On The Couch Before I Go To My Bed To Not Fall Asleep For Half An Hour
It’s bedtime again.
Tomorrow I go to work.
Life is Groundhog Day.
Filed under Poems
An Honorificabilitudinitatibus Love
I called her pulchritudinous.
She called me eellogofusciouhipoppokunurious.
Both of those are compliments
In case I made you curious.
English Empire? Hold My Beer…
We asked Canada to become a state
But they responded with only hate.
What was poor America to do
But extend the offer to Venezuela too?
Filed under Poems
Errata for Yesterday’s Haiku
I have been informed
By the demons, and I quote,
“We’re busy elsewhere.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 