There was a majestic white horse
Who was, of nature, a force.
She said “It’s alright
“That our kid’s black and white”
But her husband still wants a divorce.
Tag Archives: Travesty
My Job Application
Today I applied
For a job at Haikuists
And my resume
Was almost complete
But alas this applicant
Didn’t think ahead.
They asked for Haikus
About Love and Spring and Cats
But they had no space
For me to submit
These poems, and so I post
Them for your sake here:
Spring In Protland
Spring is in the air…
So is pollen, and it rains
While the sun still shines
Cats
Fickle feline friend…
Six pounds of pure killing force…
What a cutey pie!
Love
You will meet someone
And your soul will fill with fire
Be sure to hydrate
Filed under Poems
Bird of Paradise
Sometimes I wonder if I’d be happier
If I’d been born as an eel,
But then when a movie takes a shocking turn
I wouldn’t know how to feel…
Then I go on Google to find an animal
That’s happiest, and today I found it:
Introducing the greatest bird ever…
The American Bushtit.
Filed under Poems
Race War, The Board Game
Every time you set up a game
Of chess and take a pawn
You’ve created a token minority.
That’s all for tonight… moving on…
Filed under Poems
Together Or Apart, The Heart Still Desires
Even if the submarine is yellow
It’s hidden still, deep below the light.
Its crew works around the clock
So it’s bright all morning, noon, and night.
So even though it never feels like evening
The submariners must long for the sun,
Which they’ll be apart from, underwater
Until they’re told the mission’s finally done.
So it is to be apart from loved ones,
Trapped by distance out of your control,
Like a bird migrating by its lonesome
Or a puzzle one piece short of whole.
If you feel longing, I wish you peace;
If your family is making you consider a career in the submarine corps because they just won’t stop, I hope they cease.
Filed under Poems
Also, Jesus I Guess?
Tomorrow’s a day of new life,
Promising Earth without strife
Then we hide unborn fowls
And add weight to our jowls
Then we eat the mascots with a knife.
Filed under Poems
At Least I Made An Effort This Time?
Every other day it seems
I write a poem good,
And every other day
I say I probably should.
Today I settled in between,
Insofar as it’s eight lines long
And includes some funny words
Like spelunker and dipthong.
Filed under Poems
Good Night Already!
Sometimes you do what you need to do;
Sometimes you do what you don’t.
Sometimes my thoughts will be deeper than this
But most of the time they won’t.
Filed under Poems
Dreamland
No matter your age or your weight or your sex,
If you like Raisin Bran or prefer Chex,
There comes a time when the day is all done
You bid fond farewell to the moon and the sun
And fade into fancy, a limerent land
Where nothing is normal and banished is bland,
Where poets can prosper and perchance partake
In fantasy simply for fantasy’s sake.
I wish you good venture into such a place
As the slackness of sleep falls fast on your face.
Sleep now, and linger beyond the awake
Where nothing is real but nothing is fake.
All Part Of A Complete Breakfast
The toaster makes you crispy bread.
The fridge chills out your meals.
The plate will hold your citrus fruit
And the garbage holds the peels.
The dishwasher will clean things up
And there’s cereal on the shelf.
The pit trap on the front porch
Means you enjoy it by yourself.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 