My lady likes a hairy man
Who eats his food straight from a can,
Walks silently around the house
And saved her from a wild mouse.
Her dream guy sleeps both long and hard.
Around him she lets down her guard.
He can snuggle up at night
And make the whole world feel alright.
She likes the feeling of his tongue,
Not worried he’s no longer young.
The only worry I have is that
Is this guy me, or is it her cat?
Filed under Poems
“What comes up must come down”
My teacher told me with a frown,
But here’s a thing that I don’t get:
Why isn’t that true for government debt?
Filed under Poems
Today it rained in the morning,
From dawn ‘til the sunset was yella’
And I saw the craziest out-of-town guy
Who for some reason had an umbrella!
Filed under Poems
I’m writing this poem
As I’m brushing my teeth,
Hunting down food bits
All hidden beneath
The sharp, off-white bone spurs
That jut from my gum.
My teeth are all clean now
But my rhymes are still dumb.
Filed under Poems
I bought a ‘57 Chevy
(Or what’s left of it, at least)
And I fixed it up so I
Could be a sexy beast.
I cruised it up and down the block
To pick up saucy chicks.
Alas, my ‘57 Chevy
Doesn’t hide that I’m 86.
Filed under Poems
There once was a film from the past
And people said it was a blast;
Then Hollywood said
“What if instead
“It had an (insert group here) cast?”
Filed under Poems
Tonight I was abducted
By a girl with rosy hair
And forced into abiding love
Of depth both fine and rare.
She’s brushing her teeth now
And I’m trying to write this fast.
(This wasn’t my first “my girl’s here” poem
And it surely won’t be my last).
Filed under Poems
I love how ordinary days
Can set my heart alight.
I love the normal, glorious ways
Your face can glow so bright,
How just to fall asleep with you
Makes my entire week
And how many ways we say “I love you”
With eyes and blushing cheeks.
I’m glad I make you feel safe
When life just isn’t fair.
My heart is yours and much more full
Than my poor head of hair.
Filed under Poems
One Wednesday a mouse got into the house
Of the woman I love, heart and soul.
She has a cat who’s remarkably fat
But knows not its mouse-catching role.
Her friends have a pug. He’s remarkably ugly
In an adorable way.
He got rewarded because we reported
He pooped twice in the same day.
All of these pets and the prizes they get
Cannot help my heart softly wish
That just for a day I was treated the way
The people I love treat their fish.
Filed under Poems
Tonight we played games ‘til 11:00 PM
Which is a good reason for short poems ™
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 