Yesterday, my neighbors
Put on a firework display
Although it was illegal,
But everyone was like, “Okay.”
And so some normal people
Broke the law, and yet someone
Still thinks that no criminals
Can buy an illegal gun…
Tag Archives: Truth
My Evening Routine
Sometimes I wonder what bumps in the night,
If a leaf feels joy as the wind gives it flight,
How a man feels alone in the heart of a crowd,
If a teacher dreads saying the words “Sperm Whale” aloud.
Sometimes I wonder why I wonder why,
And if I’ll stop wondering after I die.
I smile as these musings run wild through my head,
Then I crank out a poem and go off to bed.
Filed under Poems
ENOUGH ALREADY
They made the Joker movie
Where the villain was relatable.
Then they made “Cruella”
And made killing dogs debatable.
And I know that coming soon
To theaters near me
Is a film called “Adolf:
“A young art student’s story.”
Portland Rap
I asked a tranny dude if he wanted to fight,
‘Cause I figured “He ain’t got the balls, amiright?”
He said “No,” which is fine, but it got really weird
When his girlfriend came forward and I stepped on her beard.
I was going to write seven more verses, but I think you get the point…
Filed under Poems
Unstoppable Laughter
Middle school classroom:
All is quiet. Someone farts.
No learning today.
Filed under Poems
See Also: Ant Farms
Once upon a time, some guy
Said “I know what we need!:
“A kinda boring screensaver
“We also have to feed.”
All the other townspeople
Said “That’s as good as it gets,”
And they all went out to buy themselves
Some fish to keep as pets.
Filed under Poems
It’s Not In Their Nature
If you toss a baby bird in water
It will probably die.
If you toss a fish from a nest
It will not learn to fly.
If you’re nice to someone rude
They’ll likely stay a jerk,
Yet the government employs people
And thinks that they will work?
Filed under Poems
Thus, Sportsball and Gender Studies Scholarships
Super smart students
Have to pay tons of cash
To take college classes
That mostly are trash.
Super good athletes
Can study for free
And despite low grades get
The exact same degree.
The reason for this
Is confusing to some,
And I’m here to explain
Why it isn’t that dumb…
The purpose of college
I will hereby state:
“To see how much BS
“One can tolerate.”
Filed under Poems
When Was The Last Time A Guy With Abs Smiled? I Rest My Case
A boring, shirtless-selfie guy
With pictures of his travels
Briefly loves bikini-babe…
A love that soon unravels.
Alas, the love so brief in time
Creates a permanent child.
This all could have been avoided
If Mr. shirtless-selfie smiled.
Filed under Poems
Works Cited: History, Personal Experience
I’ve been thinking lately
About a particular query:
“Does anyone know what’s going on?”
And I’ve finally formed a theory.
Here is that newfound theory
I derived from many factors:
“The ones who seem most confident
“Are dumb, or else good actors.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 