There are more stars in the sky
Than grains of sand on Earth,
But none we know of have life
For whatever that is worth.
This tells me that on Earth
Is just like in heaven:
Life doesn’t like solar systems
Under five-foot-eleven.
Category Archives: Poems
That Was Almost Disastrous!
I found world peace on Amazon
For $15.99.
It promised a world without conflict
Where everyone feels fine,
Without racism, bigotry,
Or hate of any type
And it had all five-star reviews
That said “It’s worth the hype!”
I put it in my shopping cart
And then, with horror, saw
They charged $10 bucks for shipping
So instead I bought martial law.
Filed under Poems
But Which Has More Hot Air
There once was a balloon from China
That flew over North Carolina.
Some guy shot it down
And earned more renown
Than president Joe the Mangina.
Filed under Poems
Happy Birthday Becky!
Today’s my lady’s birthday
(And this time it’s not my mom).
She’s redheaded and pretty
And I think she is the bomb.
She kicks my butt at Mario Kart
And grabs my butt covertly
And when anybody speaks ill of her
I tell them off quite curtly.
She’s 25 years old today
And full of fun and grace
And I’m going to feed her lots of sugar
And kiss her adorable face
And then, dear reader, after dark
We’ll do our favorite things. An
Act of love and passion
By which I mean play Wingspan.
Filed under Poems
Tomorrow Will* Be Better
My family is here for the weekend.
My inspiration is not.
This poem has as much though into it
As people who name their dog “Spot.”
*Maybe
Filed under Poems
Further Proof That Dumb Names Are The Root Of All Evil
I wonder if Julius Caesar
Had been given a manlier name
He wouldn’t have needed to conquer so much
And the world would never be the same.
Filed under Poems
The Fantasy World Has More Normal Names For Its Cities
There once were some nerds from Puyallup
That imagined some monsters to wallop.
They played D&D
‘Til they passed level 3
And yes, that’s an actual place… Puyallup.
Filed under Poems
I’m Just That Bad
The good news is I played Mario Kart;
The bad news is I didn’t win;
The good news is I placed 5th;
The bad news is only four were playin’;
The good news is I’m humble;
The bad news is my kart
Was twice as fast as everyone else
And had a six minute head start.
Filed under Poems
I Must Join Her, Salient Rhymes Be Damned!
There once was a beautiful woman
Who was my most favoritest human.
She needed to shower
And late was the hour
So I must do what I must be doin’.
Filed under Poems
Now Mr. Horns Needs Emotional Support Too… Freakin’ East Coast *@%*s
I tried to take my emotional support rhino
On my flight to NYC
But they said I had to buy another seat…
So much for body positivity!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 