Tag Archives: America

Baby Fat

They made a bigger, safer playground

For the children at the school

And the big kids and the babies

Both agree it’s pretty cool,

And the makers cash their checks

For saving kids from pain

And the parents who know better

See the baby fat remain.

They made a kinder, gentler college

For the kids of yesteryear

Where thinking is discouraged

Because it sometimes causes fear

And the makers plan the lessons

And the students love their chains

And the thinkers keep their distance

And the baby fat remains.

They made predictable excitements

For the prisoners of money

And the watchers and the buyers

Say “That’s scary,” or “That’s funny,”

And the makers give themselves awards

For cutting with the grain

And the living have walked out

Because the baby fat remains.

They gave us safer deadly toxins

And harder automatic wins

And a tolerant sort of hatred

And more pleasant deadly sins.

The makers smile, their strategy

Entirely on track

Because the folks who have the baby fat

Are folks who don’t fight back.

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Pomp(oms) and Circumstance

Cheerleaders always turned me on

Since I was a boy of 10,

So when Biden got elected

I was delighted that CNN

And every major outlet

Of mainstream American news

Became unabashed cheerleaders

Shouting “Give us I, give us O, give us U’s!”

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If The Analogy Works Dat Thang…

Remember Mandy the stripper?

The one who showed you her rear

Before she leaned in close to you

And whispered in your ear,

“You’re the one I’m dancing for,”

So you slip her 20 bucks?

That’s basically how the government works

And why I say it sucks.

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How The Second American Civil War Began?

There once was a Cheeto named Don

Whose power was soon to be gone.

At first he was miffed

But then Joe scratched and sniffed

So Don sighed and just said, “Carry on.”

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Allie Be Like “OMG It’s Like They’re Reading My Mind!”

A twenty-year-old white girl asked

Why mice seek out a trap.

Then she smiled and sang along

To ALL the gangster rap!

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How Important Is The Vaccine?

.00000005

Is the percent of Americans infected during this pandemic.

.00000005

Is evidence corruption is systemic.

If a million people gathered in a single room

And .00000005 percent got sick as hell

Then of the million gathered there would tell you

One twentieth of one of them might feel a bit unwell.

.00000005

Is a number sixteen syllables long.

And yet it shut down the world for a year

And you ask me what I think is wrong?

Sources:

Population Clock –

Census.gov/popclock

New York Times –

Nytimes.com/interactive/2020/us/coronavirus-us-cases.html

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Dating In The Country Be Like…

I hear her dad has fewer teeth

Than guns hung on his walls…

I heard her seven brothers

Got among ’em 19 balls…

I’ve heard her mom got famous

As a former L.A. Ram…

But I heard she ain’t got no beard

So I don’t give a damn!

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Only The Bullies and the Barefaced Have Been Seen In Public…

There once was somebody’s spouse

Who put on a burgundy blouse.

She said, “Some folks will ask

“Kindly ‘Please wear a mask?'”

But those folks never leave their house…

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Criminal Justice 101

For those who aren’t aware,

Jail and prison are not the same.

To help remember which is which

You can play this little game:

If you piss off any cop

You’ll go to a jail cell.

If you’re either poor or black

You’ll go to prison as well.

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If America Were A Game

Hey there Trump

And hey there Biden!

Joe will be seekin’

And Don will be hidin’.

Don tuns away

And Joe starts to count…

“One, two, three-hundred-thousand

“Or something… an amount.

“Ready or not,

“Here I come.”

OMG, Don’s not hidden…

He must be dumb.

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