Anti-racism
Is when white people
Protest against white people
For being white.
Tag Archives: America
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Almost two weeks have passed
Since the “King of the Jews”
Awoke from the dead after three days
And made international news.
After promising forgiveness
Of all humans and departing,
Mumblings of discontent
From sinners have been starting.
“I wanted to retire
“Somewhere warm,” one sinner said,
“But now I have to worry
“About grace and s**t instead.”
“I’m pissed about redemption,”
Another man commented.
“What about my right to be
“Eternally tormented?”
In fact it seems that since the day
That Jesus pulled a “Nope”
And ascended into Heaven
To give the humans hope
Everyone’s been angry.
“I’m upset,” one human mused.
Tomorrow: “Why all the good men suck”
Right here on Nightly News.
This post was sponsored in part by Serpent Apple Company. Just one bite can change your life!
Filed under Poems
I’m Not One Of The Sheep… I’m Just The Pasture
You know those tests they give you
That tell your dream career?
There’s been an innovation
In those tests, or so I hear.
They’ve found 80 percent or more
Of testers’ perfect jobs
Are members of unthinking
And mostly peaceful violent mobs.
I didn’t think about it much
When first I heard the news,
But when I took the test myself
I had to change my views.
I scored, not as a rioter,
But a guy who owns a store
That sells lightweight TVs and food
In downtown Baltimore.
Filed under Poems
Better Than Anything Else On TV
Honestly, the most American sport
That no one’s thought of yet
Would have to be drunk NASCAR
(Or its equivalent)
Where the racers have to drink
A bunch if whiskey sours
Until they cannot walk, and then
Turn left for several hours.
It’s a last-man-standing race
That proves, HD and live,
That it is not a good idea
For one to drink and drive,
And yet some kids will spend their lives
Trying to be a pro.
Years later, in Utopia,
We’ll ask, “Where’d the dummies go?”
Filed under Poems
You Get Equality! And You Get Equality! Everybody Gets Equality!
A growing social concern
That, to us, recently came
And affects the common person
Is Inequality of Fame.
Some folks are very famous
And some people are not
And it’s patently unfair
And it ain’t how it ought.
I suggest a policy
Wherein all people must
Create a social profile
With a media giant we trust
And exactly one trillion people
And never more or less
Must follow every profile
So society won’t regress.
If everybody’s famous
We’ll have perfect mental health.
Then maybe a trillion dollar minimum wage
Can do the same for wealth!
Update: It’s come to this poet’s attention that white, heterosexual, natal-males still exist, so this probably won’t happen for a while.
Filed under Poems
Ham Covered In Sugar, Anyone?
Easter is the day a rabbit brings
Chocolate, eggs, and other things
To all the children with rich parents
And even to the folks named Clarence.
The bunny is a major hit
Among the kids for bringing shit.
They do not know it’s master plan…
The pigs do, and they’re not a fan.
Filed under Poems
The Nice Thing About Biden Poems Is That They’re Easy To Rhyme
If ever there were a day
To say Joe Biden died
And Kamala was the pres now
And would be preside with pride
Just to test the public
To see how they react
It would be April 1st I guess.
Abloo scaree kerack.
Filed under Poems
When Gen Z Starts Procreating
If I ever have a baby
With the person I call “Honey,”
I will name it “In the Headlights”
‘Cause when we sing “Happy Birthday” it’ll be funny.
Filed under Poems
Quit Selling Drugs And Make REAL Money
If you’re a burglar
And want to do something bad
To an ex-CIA agent
Turned middle-class dad
I think you ought to
‘Cause although you’ll get killed
Hollywood will tell your story
And teen boys will be thrilled.
Filed under Poems
Change Who’s Steering, Or Just Bail Out?
Sometimes it seems
Like society is a sled
Screaming down a snowy hill
To the place from which we fled,
And everyone who rides the sled
Are begging it to slow,
Save those who see the ski jump
And exclaim, “How high we’ll go!”
Filed under Poems
