There once was an admiral poll
That asked “how to meet our recruiting goal”
Options one was “Raise pay”
Option two was “Be gay”
And the navy said “‘Kay queens, let’s roll”
Tag Archives: Cynical
24 Hours Of Visibility And The Whole System Collapses…
I think for one day a year
All taxes should be ignored
And you’ll see how gas is a dollar less
And your check is twenty percent more
And as you drive your car on roads
With a single pothole, wonder
Why do we support “our side” so much
When both sides keep sucking us under?
Filed under Poems
A Blessing For Enemies
If at first you fail
And get your ass sent to jail
Then I sincerely hope
You use only liquid soap.
Filed under Poems
Predicting the Future
The year was 2055
And Disney was somehow still alive.
Their greatest writer stood and said
“What if Black Panther was white instead?”
And coast to coast the people caved
As bloggers whined and critics raved
And I, at 60 years, just sat
Rewatching Shrek, and that was that.
Filed under Poems
When The Next Covid Hits
There’s a zombie in the basement
And a dozen in the alley
And the news says they are spreading
Through the mountain and the valley,
Just a moaning and a eating
Brains and animals galore.
From sea to shining sea’s awash
With tears and sweat and gore.
And here I am in slippers
Eating chili and having a snooze
Because I had the foresight
To then off the evening news.
Filed under Poems
12 Vs. 22
“My tummy hurts.
My throat is sore.
I don’t want to go school no more.“
“My soul is charred.
My dreams are dead.
Take an aspirin and go to bed.”
Filed under Poems
State of the Union Reaction
I think everything should be free
‘Cause I saw a speech on TV.
I’m glad that the rich
Agree they’re our bitch
And they’ll buy my whole wishlist for me!
Filed under Poems
A Universal Truth
There are more stars in the sky
Than grains of sand on Earth,
But none we know of have life
For whatever that is worth.
This tells me that on Earth
Is just like in heaven:
Life doesn’t like solar systems
Under five-foot-eleven.
Filed under Poems
Yeah… So Much For “Anything Can Happen”
There once were eight teams
With ambitions and dreams
Of competing for Super Bowl glory.
The boring teams won
And we didn’t have fun
And that’s today’s NFL story.
Filed under Poems
Sincerely, Asian Parents
If at first you don’t succeed
Find a doctor or lawyer with which to breed
Then every day remind your kid
They need to succeed at what you never did.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 