There once was a fellow from Prague
Who went for a leisurely jague.
He ran for a while
With a big happy smhile
But, alas, he fell into a bague.
Tag Archives: Humor
Happy Black History Month
They’re always making movies
About how white culture sucks
‘Cause “white folks are all racist”
And therefor are sitting ducks
To being cast as villains
In movies about the first
All black [insert niche hobby] group.
Isn’t that just the worst?
So I want to make a movie
Set in ye olde Babylon
About the first non-Jewish folks
God didn’t inflict pain on,
Or how about the first straight white guy
Who stayed home to raise his kid
And all the crazy backlash
About the stuff that one guy did?
I’d even take, at this point,
A commercial for insurance
Where a man is dumb and so’s his wife
And you can make your own inference.
And maybe if we all work hard
We’ll live to see the day
That a white guy is selected
To be in the NBA.
Filed under Poems
Some Truths Are Harder To Accept
Roses are red.
The worst sport is soccer.
Biden’s the pres’
Just like Rey’s a Skywalker.
Filed under Poems
Sheer Will Can Only Go So Far
Tonight I have no topics
To write a poem about…
But will that stop me? Never!
I’m shocked you’d ever doubt!
No force of man or nature
Can stop me writing junk.
As big tech corporations say:
“It’s a feature, not a funk.”
In fact, when I’m inspired
I might settle for one stanza
About something that sounds funny
Like Swaziland or Lufthansa.
But today, despite my lack
Of anything resembling a point
I wrote a lengthy poem
And if you don’t like it, suck my groint.
Filed under Poems
It May Happen Sooner Though…
Last time we were in the ’20s
People bought some stocks
And prices kept on rising
Until people lost their socks.
This time in the ’20s
The rich folks lost their cash
And anyone without five masks
Is summarily burnt to ash.
My guess is when the year becomes
2120
The dinosaurs will buy stocks too
And asteroids will say “hee hee!”
Filed under Poems
E I E Ya Know?
Why are classic songs just like,
“Songs just like,
“Songs just like?”
Why are classic songs just like
Repetitive and s**t?
Filed under Poems
You Can’t Do It Alone
He found the perfect woman
And he bought the perfect ring
And he planned a perfect marriage
For a perfect queen and king.
Together in the gardens
He knelt and asked, “Would you…?”
And she took a knee beside him
And they silently protested racial injustice in sports.
Filed under Poems
Where Have All The Good Pets Gone?
I want a furry turtle
That will snuggle me in bed
With a leopard-patterned belly
And a capybara’s head,
Thats softer than a kitten
And convenient as a fish
That’s 6-feet plus and makes $100k…
Is that too much to wish?
Filed under Poems
If You Sing This Poem, We Might Be Soulmates
A B C D E F G
H I J K
L M N O
O O O’Reilly’s!
Auto parts!
Filed under Poems
Bernie, January 2021
I was sittin’ in my mitten’
Thinkin’ “How evil is money?”
Now I can’t stop the photoshop
And the web says, “Hey, that’s funny!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 