Tag Archives: Life

Coping

I’m reading a book recommended to me

By a woman whom I once adored.

I’m reading, avoiding inviting the world

For the world leaves me feeling ignored.

I make friends with a spider I’m terrified of

Who lives on my white bedroom wall;

I know he deserves life as much as I do

Even though he is creepy and small.

I’m wearing soft clothing, lying and waiting

And writing a poem in bed,

Remembering over and over forever

The words that I felt and I said.

I’m hearing the lawnmower, water through pipes,

The cars on the road passing by

Destined to be somewhere other than here

And I can’t help my wondering why.

Why is the grass not allowed to be growing?

Why must the spider bring fear?

Why do the people drive quickly to elsewhere

When they know they will end up back here?

Why do I care for an author’s opinion?

Why can’t I love people less?

All I can do is get up and keep smiling

And be me: a beautiful mess.

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“F*ck Your Freedom” -Howard Stern

Last year we learned about a cold

That you can’t tell if you’ve got

So the only logical thing to do

Is mandate a mystery shot

That does not stop the spreading

Or the catching of diseases

Because, after all, our liberty

Is whatever our overlord pleases.

Just because it caused a clot

That killed my uncle Stu

Doesn’t mean it isn’t something

Everyone must do!

So why not be a good little sheep

And get your Covid shot?

And if you do in the next 12 hours

We’ll give you some free pot!

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Okay Zoomer

In the future, little kids

Will visit their Grandma’s houses

And bring along 3D-printed candy

And all four of their spouses

And in between rounds of “Doom 35”

Grandma will tell the tale

Of how when she was a little boy

It was hip to say “epic fail.”

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Just About Life

Just about everyone has asked “What’s the meaning of life.”

Just about everyone has learned the answer.

What got lost was that they weren’t asking the right question

And the right question is:

“Have I ever been unhappy?”

If you say “no,” then you apparently know the meaning of life already

But just about everyone says “Yes, I’ve been unhappy.”

And the right question continues:

“Have I ever been happy?”

And if you say “no” then you need to keep reading

But just about everyone says “Yes, I’ve been happy.”

And the right question continues:

“So what happened that made you change

“From being unhappy to being happy?”

There are many answers to this question

And just about all the answers are correct:

When you were born and became distinct from mother, you were unhappy

And when mother held you you were happy

And so the meaning of life is to be held and loved.

When you were scared and confused and lost, you were unhappy

And when you got comfort, knowledge, direction you were happy

And these too are the meaning of life.

When you were sad, you laughed.

When you were alone, you fell in love.

When you were hungry you ate.

When you were tired you slept.

When you couldn’t go on, you kept going.

Every single time you’ve been unhappy you did something joyful.

Every time you were hopeless you hoped one more time

And when you couldn’t, the universe gave you hope from outside yourself.

The meaning of life is about becoming happy

And if you’re happy you can’t become happy.

Life is the opposite of unhappiness

And so happiness is life.

If you are unhappy, you are alive,

If you are happy, you are living,

And when you make your final choice in this life, choose to be happy again

Because just about everyone can.

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Five-Year Plan (Updated)

There’s a little yellow house

With tulips in the yard,

Home to a pair of dreamers

And an angel on the way.

One of them’s a teacher.

Her husband is a bard

Who sits at a computer

Making problems go away.

The echo from a timeless love

A love that first began

When she asked him to talk about

His “perfect five-year plan.”

There’s a little library

Inside that yellow house,

A studio where students come

To learn the clarinet,

A kitchen big enough to please

The more attractive spouse,

And two young hearts forevermore

As full as they can get.

They’re thinking of the day he said

“I want to be your man,”

The first of many steps within

His perfect five-year plan.

You’ll never hear a hateful word

Be spoken bu them there.

They never let an apple sit

On any empty chair.

They smile at every photograph

Hung on the family wall,

But they won’t say what happens when

The captain comes to call.

And when the five year plan was done

And the house was home to four

He’d renew the five-year plan

Another lifetime more.

But there’s a little yellow house,

For-sale sign on the lawn.

It never was the home for them

The bard had counted on.

Turns out a five-year plan for two

Won’t work with only one

No matter how much someone cries

When they know that it’s done.

The perfect lifelong five-year plan

In three months was complete,

But when you love someone that much

You can’t call it defeat.

The sun still shines, the waves still crash,

There’s still a dusk and dawn.

The leaves are green, the rain is wet,

His eyes are nearly clear.

Just like the clouds that once were grey,

His heart is moving on

From yellow houses, unborn kids,

The teacher, and his fear.

The one thing he won’t leave behind

And knows he never can

Are memories that came to life

Thanks to a five-year plan.

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How Much Would You Cry If You Had 17 Eyes?

There are ten-quintillion insects

In the world, we estimate

Who deal daily with the fact

They’re objects of our hate.

They’ve never read a poem

And they’ve never seen a play

And we just go and murder them

As they go about their day.

Lots of people say things:

“Love your neighbor,” “Peace not war,”

But they don’t even bat an eye

When vacuuming their floor.

I think when we begin to care

For the welfare of bugs

Humanity will finally see

The real value of hugs.

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Thanks for the Memories?

Some people say it’s easy

To never care too much,

To be free and fun and easy

And they live their life as such.

I wish that feeling apathy

Was simple like they say,

But alas, the need to care too much

Won’t seem to go away.

To make a fancy breakfast

And not share it with another;

To read a book and wonder

What exactly makes heights wuther?

These and many other things

I wish I could erase

But I sleep a lifetime later

Still just thinking of your face.

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Everyman

Somewhere near you is a man

Who has a loaded gun

And a heart full of unspoken pain.

He cannot see the sun,

Nor can he hear the laughter

Of the squirrels and birds and trees.

He walks upright, but out of sight

He’s fallen to his knees.

Somewhere there’s another man –

It might even be you –

Who gives the first a little nod

That says “I feel it too.”

And sometimes just a nod like that

Is all you need to say

To help a wounded warrior

Put the loaded gun away.

You don’t need superpowers

Or a cape to save the day.

Smiling is enough sometimes

To make the world okay.

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Worth Waiting For

One day a boy was throwing stones

At nothing in the wood

When he struck the belly of

A creature pure and good,

A unicorn of golden mane,

A thing so unexpected

He hardly knew what he could do

The moment they connected.

He knew just what the creature was,

For one cannot mistake

A unicorn for something plain,

An angel for a rake.

He laid his hands upon it

And for some time they were one

Until the moon had passed ahead,

The herald of the sun.

And when the boy had fallen

Into sleep, as boys must do,

The unicorn turned to the North

And took a step, then two,

And when the boy awoke again

His heart was full of light

As he looked for where the unicorn

Had cantered in the night.

At first he was uncertain,

Even fearful in his thought

For wherever he went looking

There the unicorn was not.

To chase it would be folly;

To lose it would be doom;

So he made himself be visible

And gave it lots of room.

He smiled while he waited

‘Til the smile hurt his face,

Then he cried and laughed alternately

And prayed aloud for grace.

The boy is waiting as we sleep,

For sleep we all must do,

Until he hears the hooves again

Come Southward, one, then two.

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When You Stretch The Truth Just A Teensy Bit To Get A Sponsorship

When I was a child

I had a lot of fun

Playing a mosquito

As I drank my CapriSun.

Now I’m nine-feet-tall and rich

And so hot it’s not funny

So, CapriSun, please send me

Stuff that doesn’t cost me money.

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