Big fat ginger cat
Satan in a fluffy ball
He deserves more food
Tag Archives: Life
Love You Mom! (Even If You Raised A Poet)
Today we celebrate the gals
Who held us in their wombs
Instead of sending unborn us
To our not-born-yet dooms,
Who raised us as to be decent folk
(Regardless if it worked)
So clean and pure in making sure
Our chores were never shirked,
Who bought us socks for Christmas
And for the many that still do,
Who cleaned diapers and never
Did eschew beaucoup pee-yoo.
Thank you mothers everywhere
And hear us when we say
We’re grateful that at least one night
You probably weren’t gay.
Filed under Poems
Seriously, Apple? (Although I Get Why Microsoft Does It)
So when you buy a phone
You buy a screen protector thing
That keeps your glass from breaking
When you do a stupid thing.
Another stupid thing though
Is that if they have this tech
Why don’t they make the glass from it?
Come on now! What the heck?
Filed under Poems
Volume Also Increases In Proportion To Said Dumbness
The dumbness of a given thing
Is strongly correlated
With how late I am this morning
And how closely we’re related.
Filed under Poems
7-9-7
If you make a long haiku
With too many syllables in it
Nothing changes. Lighten up.
Filed under Poems
Know Your Role!
Women are possessed of powers
Men cannot explain
But sitting on the toilet for half an hour
Is strictly man’s domain.
Filed under Poems
A Universal Symbol Of Me
I wanted to get a tattoo
Of something that was always true
To remind myself by simple sight
Of something that is always right.
I thought of words, but words can change
Like “queer” no longer meaning strange
And alphabets can change a lot…
“So much for a tattoo”, I thought
But what about a picture that
Reflects the world and where I’m at?
A picture that will grow with me
No matter who I grow to be?
I used to love a Pokemon
But my favorite one keeps moving on.
I used to think that I was wise
But what I knew were often lies.
I used to be a man of God
But now I find the Bible odd.
And then, at once, it came to me!
An image only I could see
That would grow and change as I
Would grow and change and smile and sigh:
My skin, unchanged except by age,
My empty slate, my blank white page.
I’ll know, I know, I knew I’d see
I need no mark to just be me.
Filed under Poems
Late Night?
Growing up is when you play
D&D 12 hours a day.
Being an adult is when your Bard
Says “It’s 9:00 guys. We worked too hard.”
Filed under Poems
Evening Cuddles
Fat cat on my lap goes splat
And I pat his fat and that is that.
I rub and rub all ‘round his roundness
Until I question my mental soundness.
I sploop his leg and bwork his boop
And give his little gleeb a ploop
And then he bites and runs away
And thus I end another day.
Filed under Poems
Another Unifying Political Policy… Almost
I think most people are open
To human sacrifice. However
We disagree on who gets picked
And who will pull the lever.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 