I’m walking through the winter sky,
A bit if H2O,
Uniquely changed by hardship to
A tiny flake of snow.
My life is but a moment long,
But soft and cool and free.
My heart will always be cold as ice
So yours won’t have to be.
The mighty citadels of clouds
Are signs of what I was,
But I don’t mind departing, for
It’s what a snowflake does
So a kid at the windowsill
Will see me, clear and bright
And now that for a while still
The world will be alright.
Filed under Poems
If you don’t want to hear
Someone say “him” or “her”
I’ll be okay
And I’ll probably say “sure.”
But why won’t you respect
My wishes when I
Ask to be referred to
As “thee most glorious and high?”
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Gray steam rises from the sod
Obscuring the outlines
Of eleven men who would be God
If their teammates become so first.
The sky is darkness no one sees
Behind the lightning wall.
The crowd is warm despite the breeze
And bravado shields a heart’s true thirst.
A coin is flipped, a ball is thrown,
And bodies slowly shatter,
A ring is forever. A broken bone?
A pittance to the undying.
And so they fight, part man, part boy
So does decay commence.
They’ll either bottle tears of joy.
Or else just end up crying.
Here we see the warriors die,
Although they call it play,
Our voice is one great battle cry
To lend the few our will.
No longer are our swords so deft,
But fantasy’s alive.
Long ago the dragons left,
But here there’s magic still.
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This morning I woke up in Heaven
In my bed at 10:43.
The sun glowed gold. I smiled
And your face smiled back at me.
The coffee and breakfast was ready
With a whole day to spend with my queen.
I looked back at your face and realized
Your body was nowhere to be seen.
Turns out to awaken in Heaven
Is not always as nice as it seems,
Or so I discovered when angels
Began to harmonize songs with my screams.
As I woke back on Earth to the thunder
All pale, sweaty, cold, and alone
I realized Heaven’s got its downsides
And sometimes there’s no place like home.
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On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A holiday that lasted less than two months
That I didn’t have to hear or see.
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One of the beloved songs
Is titled “Silent Night,”
Of story of a night where all
Is calm and all is bright.
With the writer of the song
I want to have a chat.
A silent night where all is bright?
What kind of night is that?
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When Chinese people
Want to eat on fancy plates
What are those plates called?
Filed under Poems
A mermaid’s on my back
And another is in my jaws.
One appreciates my service
And the other sees my flaws.
My coat is warm and fluffy
And made of tiny molars.
I’m a great white horseshark
And my virtues have many extollers.
My mane is made of dreams
And my tail’s made of kelp
And if you could speak underwater
My presence would make you call for help.
I can smell blood from miles away.
I can run and jump and swim
But you prefer me to your boyfriend
‘Cause I understand you better than him.
Let’s go for a ride
And munch on a whale.
Who needs horseshoes
Or a boat to sail?
Yes, we can be friends,
Omnivorous kin.
But if you hate me I don’t mind.
I’ve got very thick skin.
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As far as I can tell
All you need to do well
As a writer for TV
Is to write a detective show
Where your always-brilliant lead
Has some flaw or special need
That makes them an outsider
With a mono-syllabic name.
Then add someone to kiss
And a grand nemesis
That might, perhaps, be
More brilliant than they.
You need only in joint
Write five episodes with a point,
Then 17 worth of filler
And you’re on your way!
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I sat down one evening
On a recliner
When a voice unkindly arose.
“I’m not a chair”
Called the voice through the air,
From the recliner I suppose.
Now most times I sit
That’s basically it.
Seldom do seats tell me “no.”
So I just have to say
If stuff goes on this way
We must ask how far it will go!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 