Cute and lively,
Covered in hair,
Running and screaming
Everywhere.
A long fur coat
And her tongue out at me
In the hotel bar:
My wife to be.
Tag Archives: Postaday
Wild Thing
Filed under Poems
The Super Bowl Ad That Wasn’t
Tea is made of soggy leaves,
Coffee of boiled beans.
Juice is made of beat-up fruit
Or bovine growth-enhancing genes.
Alcohol is rotten food
Made into liquid form.
Milk is full of hormones
Much like a college dorm.
But water is made of melted ice
And of precipitation.
And it makes you joyful, calm, and well
According to our information.
You’re ninety percent water,
As you may already know.
So why not buy Dasani
When you look for H2O?
This poem features many notable celebrities, and should compel you to buy Dasani brand water.
Filed under Poems
Substitute Sky
The blue sky was angry,
Perturbed and upset,
But black stormy clouds
The sky could not get.
They had all been reserved
For another date,
So the sky, though enraged,
Just had to wait.
It made gentle breezes
And bright, sunny beams;
Poor substitutes
For the sky’s mental screams.
Now very impatient,
Worn out and bereft,
All weather was halted
When the sky up and left.
Today it is rainy,
But I beg you, don’t cry:
It’s just the temp work
Of a substitute sky.
Filed under Poems
Coming Soon!
A vision achieved,
A dream come true,
And it’s coming
To a website near you!
I’ve promised at length
To take this blog far,
Whether through labor
Or a wish on a star.
Through a small bit of both
I’ve published a book!
And I want you, dear reader,
To have the first look.
By Valentines Day
It will be on the shelves,
Placed there by dozens
Of book-placing elves.
And once it’s available
You’ll have the full scoop.
‘Til then I leave you
With this poetical whoop…
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Impossible Yoga
Breathe in, breathe out.
Put your lips in a pout.
Breathe out, breathe in.
Extend all your skin.
Inhale, exhale.
Stretch each fingernail.
Air above, air beneath.
Bite your lower teeth.
Breath out, breathe in.
Stare up at your chin.
Take in the air.
Flex all of your hair.
Count sideways from ten,
And do it again.
Filed under Poems
Weaknesses
Superman has kryptonite.
Spiderman has tiny knives.
Batman has gravity
And Cat-woman’s nine lives.
Wolverine has bad-hair-days.
Underdog has Polly.
Godzilla has the human race,
And “The Beav” has Wally.
Chubby folks have ice cream.
Skinny folks have breezes.
Rats have humans, dogs, cats,
Birds, and poison cheeses.
Chapter books have fragile spines
And test-takers have zeroes.
The theme of this poem, apparently,
Knows just five superheroes.
Filed under Poems
Shoplifting
I went to my doctor
With a terrible cold,
A product of
My getting old.
He told me to take
Two aspirins or so,
Then gave me a bill
And bade me to go.
And now I’m in prison
For acting immorally.
I took aspirin from the store
When the doctor meant orally.
Filed under Poems
Wizard Chow
Bacon-and-egg-flavored cereal
And a glass of milk-flavored water.
That’s the last time I have breakfast
With a tipsy Harry Potter.
Autobiography
Somebody somewhere
Has a song in their head
As they write a short poem
From the lukewarmth of their bed.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 