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You married a man
Tag Archives: Short
TSA*
My travel agent pats my back
And loads me in the trough
And says “You’re saving CO2”
And then I’m taking off.
*Short for “Trebuchet Substitute Anyone?”
Filed under Poems
Feminism Did That
So babe, I heard you want a ring.
You need to know there’s just one thing…
You already have one in your nose
And that’s why thus your love life goes.
Filed under Poems
Pirate Movies > Pirate Guns
As television became popular
Cannon deaths at sea have decreased
So I will continue to watch TV
And be grateful that I’m not deceased.
Filed under Poems
Military/Zoological Complex (See Also… Polar Bears, Chihuahuas, Those #%^*ing Moths In The Bathroom At Night… I Can Go On)
The fact that we’ve been through how many wars
And nobody’s realized yet
That dropping skunks is way cheaper than dropping bombs
Shows just how dumb humans can get.
Filed under Poems
Bille Nye The Science Guy 3, Starring Chris Rock
We’ve finally reached the place
Where Hollywood’s gotten so mid
Black actors are turning down starring roles
And bringing milk home for their kid.
Filed under Poems
Forget Electric Cars… THIS Will Prevent Climate Change
Every GPS should say
“Make a U-turn here for course correction”
On bridges, highways, and the like
To speed up natural selection.
Filed under Poems
Know Your Role!
Women are possessed of powers
Men cannot explain
But sitting on the toilet for half an hour
Is strictly man’s domain.
Filed under Poems
Modern Audiences
I consider myself pretty smart
And I have an insight into art:
More people would read
Poetry if indeed
More poets would use the word “fart”
Filed under Poems
Everyone Has Something To Share
If your life is a dumpster fire
Don’t think about aiming higher
But find a cold alley
And watch how you rally
The hobos, who your heat admire.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 