It’s Friday night
And I’ve learned a bit
About Christmas trees
And how they fit.
Tag Archives: Short
And Yet Businesses Still Do This… (Not The Kidnapping Part Though… Yet)
So a friend of mine got kidnapped
And they sent a ransom link.
It said “click here to see the ransom price”.
I’ll never see him again, I think.
Filed under Poems
This Is How Video Games Ask “WTF?”
You’d not saved your game in a while
So I made you an autosaved file
Yet as hard as I slaved
You still manually saved
As if I harbored some sort of guile?
Filed under Poems
It’s About Sending A Message
There was a little spider
In my bathroom late at night.
Now it’s gone, and so is one shotgun shell
And I have a new skylight!
Filed under Poems
Always Room At The Table For Turkey
Today we are thankful for immigrants
Who come here to become a winner.
Without them we’d have to fly to Turkey
To have our traditional dinner.
Filed under Poems
Winter Flashbacks
Did you know that firewood,
While primarily used to burn,
Can also be used to make children sad?
Now you do! Live and learn!
Filed under Poems
Do I Get A Silver Medal?
I thought ahead this Wednesday
And wrote before bed this Wednesday,
But alas lacked the foresight
To give myself more night
To think of a good rhyme for “Wednesday”.
Filed under Poems
The Masculine Urge
Today, when I was peeing
And pondering my existence,
I realized I hadn’t thought about sex in 24 hours.
What I was suddenly seeing
Was not some great resistance
But the fact that Magic: The Gathering has given me superpowers.
Filed under Poems
Identification Complete
There once was a UFO
That crashed in New Mexico.
People there made contact
And now it’s a fact
That it’s now nothing more than an O.
Filed under Poems
Wicked: The Clinton/Harris Story
It’s not that we don’t want a woman
As president of the USA…
It’s that our two female options so far
Would get melted by water. Ok?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 