Sometime in the distant past
Somebody’s wife I suppose
Decided to hang a bunch of pipes
So whenever the wind blows
It makes the sound of a little kid
Assaulting a glockenspiel
And she sold these things for thirty bucks
And I don’t know how I feel…*
*That’s a lie. I love them. They are wonderful.
Any time I write a poem with a lotta letters
I get a temptation that of me can get the better:
You may have to read twice or the joke you will not get her…
Heeeeeey Macarena!
Filed under Poems
When was the last time a stranger
Whispered something in your ear,
Whether something that was naughty
Or perhaps a secret fear,
Saying something so important
That they risked becoming near
To share with you a datum
Only you were fit to hear?
If you’ve never given quiet
I think you ought to try it.
Filed under Poems
Roses are red.
Biden is tired.
The guy who holds his “applause” sign
Apparently got fired.
Filed under Poems
The nurse said “I’m Aquarius!”
The lab tech said “I’m Virgo!”
I said “I’m a Cancer!”
The doctor said “I know.”
Filed under Poems
Today a man who made himself
And all his staff exempt
From being vaccinated
Most audaciously has dreamt
That those who didn’t get a shot
That doesn’t stop the spread
Are somehow the ones responsible
That twelve more folks are dead.
Filed under Poems
There once was a man named Beyoncé
Who wanted to have a fiancee
But the girls were all like
“Why’s your name not like ‘Mike?’”
Now he goes by his middle name: Chauncey.
Filed under Poems
Today is Friday night.
I’m with my darling wife.
We’re gonna have some crazy sex
‘Cause I am done with life.
Filed under Poems
Whenever Italy gets attacked
Someone must fell Rome,
Someone conquers Cicily,
Burns a Venetian home…
Yes, in an Italian conquest
These sackings are the staples
But a satisfying extra
Is somebody licked their Naples.
Filed under Poems
