When it comes to choosing my dream career
I’ve finally made a decision:
I’ve decided I want to be
A major league musician…
I want to be in a band so famous
They play quick football games during intermission.
Tag Archives: Silly
Hopscotch Reimagined
Who are these people,
These lines of numbered squares?
How do they feel
As the world around them stares?
As they’re moved from chalk outlines
Into their waiting coffin
We wonder why they’re murdered
On playgrounds so often…
Filed under Poems
Four European Jokes
If you think you’re very nice
I’ll leave you this reminder:
No matter how kind you happen to be
German children will always be kinder.
——————————————————–
If you read the first jokes
And your focus yet lingers
How ’bout the Roman
Who held up two fingers
And said to the bartender
“Howdy there Clive!”
Clive asked “Two beers?”
But the Roman said “Five.”
——————————————————–
When France declared a civil war
At first we wondered “But what for?”
But thanks to the historically well-versed
We learned it was an argument about who surrendered first.
——————————————————–
Spain.
Filed under Poems
Nautical Issues
“I don’t know how to say this…”
Jason said to Captain Tull,
“But the otorhinolaryngologist
“Spilled Worcestershire sauce in the forecastle.”
Filed under Poems
The College Athlete
As I jogged through the locker room door
Coach was shouting “This is what we play for!”
I said “What coach means to say
“Is ‘this is that for which we play.'”
I guess that questioning coach’s decision
To end a cheer with a preposition
Resulted in, so it would seem,
My no longer being on the team.
While you might expect, after my blunder,
That I hope, in my absence, the team goes under
I don’t seek vengeance for my woes…
And it’s “In my absence I hope under is where my team goes.”
Filed under Poems
The Elf In Boots Of Azure Suede
For Halloween I dressed like Legolas
From the franchise about the ring,
But as I walked about the town
People kept asking me to sing.
At first I didn’t understand
This request, but I caught on later…
People figured I could sing
Since I’m an Elvish Impersonator.
Filed under Poems
It Rhymes, So It Doesn’t Have To Be Meaningful
I saw the custard being poured…
Flowing, flowing flan.
Then the custard pourer tripped…
Going going gone.
Filed under Poems
Book Reports
Quite a number of years ago
There lived a certain so-and-so
Who often times did… well, you know…
And it turned out like you’d think.
Another someone did react
And that, I can say, is a fact.
Some things were had and some were lacked
And some of those things were pink.
Then stuff went down all over town
And what was pink soon turned to brown
And Jack fell down and broke his crown
And someone felt remorse!
Then the tale wrapped up in the knick of time
And what was pink, then brown, turned into lime
And all in all it was sublime.
What? Of course I read the book!
Filed under Poems
Honesty
I used to be wealthy, handsome, and brave.
I used to be known as whom all women crave.
I used to be humble, witty, and wise
But then I stopped speaking in nothing but lies.
Filed under Poems
Why English Is Hard
How do you pronounce vapid,
Plein air, eschew, or bow?
Then when you factor in typoes
You really never now.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 