I asked the waitress for tofu.
I thought that she was cute
Until she brought me a dildo
And said “Here’s your meat substitute.”
Tag Archives: Silly
Sharing Is Caring
If your roommates are loud
And you want them to hush
Just say “Hey roomie,
“Where’d you put our toothbrush?”
Filed under Poems
We are the .0000000000000000000000000000000000000…1 percent
“My feelings matter”
Screamed the important human
And a few quadrillion cubic lightyears
Of hyper-intelligent space blobs
Smiled and reminisced
On when they thought the same thing.
Two or three universes away
The process repeated.
Filed under Poems
Las Story Es Mucho True
If you’re in Puerto Rico
And don’t know how to speako
Know this: The inglés
Is not spoke in the place
And they’ll probably think you’re a freako.
Filed under Poems
Bye Bye Wings
A fly was buzzing around my head.
It drove me up the wall!
I took away its Red Bull
And now it’s just a crawl.
Filed under Poems
Mad Libs: Nature’s Gift To Difficult-To-Rhyme Words
Their humor’s derived
From the cognitive dissonance
From grammatical consistency
Despite nonsensical words.
Some think they’re contrived,
But some say they’re ____________.
I think they’re _____________
But then again I like nerds.
It Started So Well…
You need rain to make a rainbow.
You need rain to make a plant grow.
You need rain to have water fall from the sky
And that, gals and gents, is how inspirational quotes die.
Filed under Poems
After Monkeys Throw Down
Monkey see monkey doo.
Monkey cleans up monkey poo.
Monkey reminds, for everyone’s sake
That difference a comma and an “o” can make.
Filed under Poems
You Won’t Believe The Monkey’s Side Of The Story!
As we ran around the Mulberry bush
I thought that all was well.
Then the weasel was all like “Pop!”
And I was like “Dude, what the Hell?”
The Daily Travesty 