There once was a federal agency
Who knew how much taxes you owed, you see,
But when you didn’t pay enough
‘Cause math is hard and stuff
They need a whole department to audit ye?
Tag Archives: Stupid
When You Think You’re Setting Yourself Up For A Challenge, But Then Everything Goes Way Too Easily
I promised myself I wouldn’t write
Another “Night before Christmas” parody.
So now I have to come up with
Hard rhymes, like “Carroty”.
Also included are “Parity”,
“Ferrety”, “charity”, “merrity”,
“Clarity”, “plurality,” “McGarrity”, “Jarret E.”
I guess those rhymes aren’t such a rarity!
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Probably Racist And Hates Short People
Last night I wrote a lot.
Tonight I wrote much not.
The kettle is black and so is the pot.
Filed under Poems
The Woke Agenda’s Fatal Flaw
One of the problems with globalism
Is that some Scandinavian guy named Anders
Is going to meet a muslim guy named Salaam
And a third party will greet them both
By shouting “Salaam, Anders!”
And some guy terrified of reptiles
Will sue for emotional damages.
Filed under Poems
What Do Poets Do At Night? The True Story Revealed!
Tonight I stayed home to guarantee
I could sign up for an event at 6:00 PM.
I spent most of the afternoon watching TV,
Specifically the Seahawks get their ass handed to them.
I was also playing video games
And burning wood to keep my house hot.
I had an awesome time doing everything but
Did I sign up for the event? No I did not.
I spent an evening by myself
Eating cookies and shouting “Dude!”
At the TV, so although I’m a dumby
My man card’s 1,000-percent renewed!
Filed under Poems
But Seriously, Who Doesn’t Want To Do This At Least Once?
I think people would be happier
If once a day, for free,
They could take an eighteen-wheeler
Packed with TNT
And have a robot drive it
Into their neighbor’s chrysanthemum
But that’s very illegal
‘Cause the government is dumb.
Filed under Poems
Don’t Question The Logic… Just Enjoy The Conclusion
I think that absolute proof
That a time machine exists
Is the fact that someone went back in time
And found a T-Rex
And said “Aww yeah… T-Rex….”
And then got eaten
And nobody has time traveled since.
Filed under Poems
NFL Folk Tales
If a tree falls in the forest
And no one’s around to see
Will the Packers still pass on receivers
In 2023?
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A woodchuck wouldn’t chuck…
Perhaps he even couldn’t chuck…
Since Russell Woodchuck still sucks. Good.
—————————————————————
Legend speaks of manticores
With the heads of a lion, an eagle, and goat.
Normally you’d be scared of the lion head
But that’s ‘cause the eagles don’t gloat.
Filed under Poems
English 101
There once was a five paragraph essay
That had one compelling thing to say
Then repeated that message
Twice, then thrice for to stressage
That there once was a five paragraph essay.
Filed under Poems
Somewhere In California
My man bought a Tesla
Which would normally be fun
But it came with a purse
And his hair’s now a bun.
I told him I liked him
Because he was manly.
Now he’s leaving me
For his old roommate, Stanley.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 