Somewhere in Australia
A koala has a baby,
And when that baby takes a poo
In public, then just maybe
Koala mommy and her cub
In a public restroom hide
And clean up on a table
With a human on the side…
Tag Archives: Travesty
Breaking: Illuminati Leader Identified At Last!
One day, a cat suggested
“Wouldn’t it be great
“If we walked up to humans,
“Who we obviously hate,
“And acted cute and fluffy
“‘While we multiply their struggles?”
That cat is world famous now;
His name is Mr. Snuggles.
Filed under Poems
Averted The Crisis Is. Used Common Sense We Did.
A long time ago,
In a galaxy far away
Some Jedi asked the federation
How much they’d have to pay
To get the robot army guys
To stop blocking Naboo.
They came to a reasonable compromise
And they never filmed episode two.
Filed under Poems
When You Speak To A Chihuahua Without A Stupid Accent…
“You’re a good boy! Yes you are!”
They said and pulled me to the car.
But they didn’t use a cutesy voice
So I killed them (I had no choice).
Filed under Poems
So Ended The Artistic Career Of Coal-Eyed Jack
Once a man who had no legs
And really skinny arms
Made a statue of himself.
He didn’t see the harm,
And so he rolled three balls of snow
And stacked them one by one
Until a rabbit ate his nose
And spoiled all the fun.
Filed under Poems
Florida Man Saves Music
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand
And asked “Do you have any grapes?”
The lemonade seller shot dead the duck feller
Which proves not all heroes wear capes.
The Most Romantic Poem Ever That No Woman Will Understand
When my team is 8 and 6
And my fantasy QB gets sick
You’re the RB1 I start
And throw to when the ground is slick.
You’re the treadmill at the gym
In front of the TV
Where I can watch the Yankees lose
With nobody in front of me.
You’re someone I never thought
Was real, but here you are!
Like a white guy who hates frisbee sports
And never tried to learn guitar.
When I hold your hand I feel
Like I am good at math,
And if you asked me nicely
I might even take a bath.
I think you’re pretty naked
Or in a muumuu, though
I doubt there is a clothing item
That could dull your glow.
I would window shop with you
On our anniversary,
And when you sleep, on the toilet’s edge
I aim so you don’t hear me pee.
You smell like guacamole
And when you hold me tight
I forget to pull my belly in
And I know the world’s alright.
Filed under Poems
One Animal That Won’t Let You Down
See you later alligator.
In a while crocodile.
Time to vamoose you silly goose.
Sayonara capybara.
All these partings for a beast
Didn’t matter in the least
To the all-knowing, ever-present
“Never gonna give you up” pheasant.
Filed under Poems
The REAL Home Office
If, instead of cubicles,
We gave all employees
Their own private bathroom
And a set of private keys
So they could sit on porc’lain throne
And work at the same time
Productivity would go up
By a factor of eight or nine.
Filed under Poems
I Hope This Limerick Ages Horribly
There once was a bat from Wuhan
Who bad people did some work on.
It got fed up one day
And just flew away
And just like that two years are gone!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 