Tag Archives: Truth

Heroes

There’s a man I admire. He’s a rock star

And his lyrics have changed my life.

He accompanied me from a basement alone

To a home with my wonderful wife.

He told me his son has a hero

And it isn’t the guy that you think,

Not the man who’s inspiring millions

But the guy who fixed up the sink.

I’m content now to not be a rockstar,

To embrace all the skills I don’t see

Because somewhere a hero is watching

And perhaps is inspired by me.

I’ll endeavor to be the example

Of the way I think normal should go.

We can all be a hero to someone

Even if it’s someone we don’t know.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Ode To Brian Thompson

There was an insurance exec

Who got shot in the street. What the heck?

But instead of mass fear

Folks just let out a cheer,

Now relieved of one pain in the neck.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Poem For My Wife On The Occasion Of A Duty To Her Peers

‘Twas the day of jury duty

And through the courthouse

Most groups were still waiting

(They’d just called in “mouse”).

The judges were hoping

For non-psycho jurors

While my wife was pining

For sofas and purrers.

One hundred dollars

Awaited those selected

To sit in the waiting room,

Tired and dejected,

But some of those gathered

Would be chosen to act

As one of a dozen

Who would justice enact.

The thrill of deciding

A dumb person’s fate

Might be tempting for some,

But not to my mate.

She wanted to go

To her job or her house,

Not to wait for a call

For “Octopus”. (Nope, still “mouse”).

And then, with a flash

And a low-level clatter

A sentry emerged

And did hush all their chatter.

“I’ve news for you all”

The page said to the bunch.

“We don’t need you right now.

“Take an hour for lunch.”

And so wifey departed

In search of a bite

With an intrusive thought

That she’d be here all night…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

True Confessions of a Dungeon Master

So I spent 7 hours

Writing history and motivation

For a character who will capture

My players’ imagination.

They walk up to the character

And immediately leave

And then adopt an NPC

I randomly named “Steve”.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Masculine Urge

Today, when I was peeing

And pondering my existence,

I realized I hadn’t thought about sex in 24 hours.

What I was suddenly seeing

Was not some great resistance

But the fact that Magic: The Gathering has given me superpowers.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

What Really Matters

‘Teas the night of the election

And all round the world

All the people were asking

“Why’d they kill the poor squirrel?”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Dear Every Channel Today, Apparently…

If you feel the need to change our minds

Two days before our votes are cast

I suggest that your campaign was crap

And the time for changing minds has passed.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

See Also: People Who Drive The Speed Limit In The Carpool Lane

There once was a political leftist

And another who leaned to the right.

They both mocked the art in banks and hotels

And then peacefully mumbled “Good night.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Beetlejuice, Then And Now

In 1988 they made a movie of a couple

Who died driving off a one lane bridge.

They ended up haunting their family home

Because New Yorkers tried to sell their fridge.

They sang a reggae song about bananas

And almost had a wedding with a demon

And then a random sandworm saved the day

And everybody smiled instead of screamin’.

In 2024 they made a movie of a kid

And her parents and grandparents and a cop who is actually an actor, and an ex-wife and some random murdery boyfriend, etc.

They also had a wedding with a demon

Before a random sandworm saved the day

And I’m just wondering why Hollywood

Can’t just make films the 1988 way.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

My Marriage

She says “What?”

I say “Your butt.”

Then we both smile

And snuggle a while.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems