It is a truth we find self-evident
That the people who make the laws
Are the type to drink turtle smoothies
With biodegradable straws.
Category Archives: Poems
An Old-School Love Poem For The Woman Who Inspired My “Art”
Good morning Mom!
You are the bomb.
You made me exist
Before the CD Rom.
Today we shower you
With abundant aplomb.
You are the WWW
To my .com
You make delicious food
That I like to nom
And you are someone onto whom
I do like to glom.
I promise I’ll never leave you
To move away to Guam
Because I’m your favorite child
And you’re my best Mom.
Filed under Poems
She Played Another Game With Me…
Her epic trapper spidey
Killed my supersonic bat-dragon.
Apparently the divorce is off
And we’re back to love and naggin’!
Filed under Poems
And You Thought Monopoly Ruined Friendships…
My magic thunder doggy
Killed my fiancee’s fairy horse.
Yes, she played Pokemon with me.
Yes, we’re headed for divorce.
Filed under Poems
Travelogue, Volume 2
I flew home on a plane through the air
Then I drove in a car on a road.
Now I’m sitting butt-down on a chair
And my creativity has yet to fully load.
Filed under Poems
Rainbow Town
Big green steamboat
With two red wheels
Casting great white wakes
In the chocolate Mississippi water.
In the distance, a brick-red city
With lights in tans and teals
And the iron evening air
Is growing blacker, hotter.
The brassy blast of cymbals
And a wailing silver sax
Play the blues for our reunion
And the clouds are stalwart brown.
I’m sitting in a steel chair
With rust like sealing wax
As a snowy egret flies into
The night in rainbow town.
Filed under Poems
Empathy
If everybody in the world
Could be a fish for just one day
I think we’d finally be able to make
Gas station sushi go away.
Filed under Poems
Travel Traditions
I flew on a plane to New Orleans
And by now you know what that means:
I’m probably tired, and pleased to report
That this poem is late and also is short.
Filed under Poems
Because Sugar Comes In Many Colors
Today I learned something amazing…
The answer to a riddle:
Apparently there’s more than one
Flavor of Skittles!
Filed under Poems
Moral Ambiguity In The Marvel Culinary Universe
Honorable dessert, cake of courage,
Your frosting is noble, your filling is strong.
Honorable dessert, please answer me this:
Is wanting to eat you so wrong?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 