The hours we spent painting gnome houses
And the hours we spent playing games
And the meals and walking
And laughing and talking
And whispering each others’ names,
The hour we spent after bedtime
Just wrapped in each other, in love,
And the sweet half an hour
That I was your tower
And your lips glowed from starlight above,
A greeting, a morning, a breakfast, adventure,
The downtime, the party, the kiss:
I cannot be lonely when you are my only;
No time was spent better than this.
Filed under Poems
This morning as I wandered
Through the hallways of my mind
With hopes that I would stumble on
Something of an inspiring kind
I realized quite suddenly
That I had been so dense
As to never realize “Naked”
Was a verb in the past-tense.
I realize all this time
That I don’t ever nake,
But allow it to be done to me
When I go in a lake
Or when ai take a shower…
Yes, I always get naked
But never do I nake myself
Before I go to bed.
I’ve never dreamed of naking,
But I’ve dreamed of naking others.
A child can undress itself
But isn’t naked by mothers.
In fact it seems the only one
Who nakes remains unseen,
And I wonder if the Naker
Is new, or has always been…
Filed under Poems
Someone said “Let the good times roll”
And folks said “Yay” and “Wow.”
Then someone said “Disease exists”
And folks said “Quit rolling now.”
Filed under Poems
Today I ordered Sierra Mist and a fork
For lunch at a drive-through.
Thus ends my presentation:
“Why I have more fun than you.”
Filed under Poems
I was born a lightbulb,
Just a magnet for a moth,
But I decided I’d be happy
If I were a goth.
So I donned some darkness
To become a blacklight demon.
I’d work to show cops where people
Cleaned up blood and semen.
But alas the business
Of policing wasn’t booming
And I sought some other jobs
With unemployment looming.
Now I make the alleys cosmic
Down at Downtown Bowl.
I may have sold out to the man
But I’m still a gothic soul.
Filed under Poems
I remember a game
I played when I was childish
Where up I’d pick a fancy stick
And proceed to go quite wildish.
It would be, at the same time,
A lightsaber, a gun,
A steering wheel, banana peel,
A ticket: Admit One.
I could walk around the woods
With some tree’s lifeless limb
And make of a day of naught but play,
Walking and swinging him.
Now I’m big and childish
But have less inclination
To go outside and take a ride
On my imagination.
Today I pray to everything
That before I’m old and sick
I’ll meet just five folks more alive
Than my beloved stick.
Filed under Poems
There once was a poet-slash-spy
Who was quite the mysterious guy.
He’d write the last thing he’d think
In invisible ink
.
Filed under Poems
Plenty of folks can come up with jokes,
But fewer deliver them well,
Many a person can think up a product,
But few of those products can sell,
A whole host can fail at many endeavors
But few of them fail with grace,
And prisons are full of a criminal plenty
But most of them share the same race.
Filed under Poems
Tonight I watched a movie
That made me cry
About an awkward redhead
Who can travel through time.
He learned that living every day
As if it is your last
Is the key to perfect happiness,
Not reliving the past.
Unlike awkward redhead dude
I can’t control the ages,
Can’t redo my past mistakes
Or rewrite history’s pages.
What I can do that others can’t
Is make the time you spend
Be used to wish my poetry
Would finally freakin’ end.
Filed under Poems
You know that food you enjoy
Every once in a while,
That you can heat in a minute
And always makes you smile?
What if that niche pleasure
Came in a 500 pack for a dollar?
If you want to pay us to buy that
Just give old Costco a holler!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 