There once was cowie from Maui
Who visited Kauai. How he
Got there we don’t know
But he was impressed, so
He exclaimed to all “Wowie zowie!”
Category Archives: Poems
Have You Seen The New “Winnie The Pooh” Movie By DC?
There once was a bear with a shirt
Whose heart filled with blackness and hurt.
He had no friends or money
So he ate all the honey
And the end of the world did avert.
Filed under Poems
Circumstances Change… Viewpoints May Not
I’m out of the sticks now
And wifi is back.
Dear vegans: I’m sorry
For my former attack.
From henceforth I promise
To not mock you any more
Than I mock anyone else
Who says “Tofu? J’adore!”
Filed under Poems
Panic Poem Of Speed
I’m in the sticks
And the wifi is bad.
I hope that this publishes.
Vegans are bad.
Filed under Poems
Fantasy Movies
Once upon a time ago
When dragons ruled the Earth
A magic chosen one was born
On the day that was his birth.
He grew up like a normal child
With perfect grades and crap
Until eternal evil
Fell conveniently in his lap.
He walked through several biomes
While some epic music played
And met the one named female character
And somehow did not get laid
And then, at the end of the runtime,
The villain said “I’ll never die”
Then sky-beams and a sword through his head
Proved his last words were a lie.
Then the hero faced the rising sun
To a song by a knock-off Enya
And the nerds all left the theatre saying
“Let’s watch that again, ya?”
Filed under Poems
Nauti Nauti…
The wealthy paid a submarine
To view the ocean bottom
Whereat the wreck of Titanic was seen
Until the ocean caught ‘em.
Now missing, they have headlines made
Of a voyage doomed to fail
Though I see not a tragedy
But wish more elites might sail.
Filed under Poems
How My Diet Is Going
There are more cookies in my belly
Than on the cooling rack.
That’s my reward for exercise
So I think I’m on the right track.
Filed under Poems
A Day In The Life Of A Hero
I’m going to a climate conference
To inspire both hope and confidence
But I’m not sure which jet I should ride
So I’ll take both. I’m too rich to decide!
Filed under Poems
Leftist Dilemmas
Sometimes I think the world would be better
If everyone wrote a well-worded letter
Politely requesting that all war be ended
But if we did that someone might be offended
Filed under Poems
Father’s Day
Happy day to all the dads
Who once were childless as lads
And then got up to laddish things
‘Til onto Earth a baby springs.
Then they spend their waking hours
Changing diapers, buying flowers,
Playing dolls or playing truck
Depending on genetic luck.
As they age, the hair up here
Says “Nope, now I’ll grow out your ear.”
He buys cars for his offspring who
Repay him with a new tie. Whoo!
These things and more, both good and bad
Are part of what makes man a dad
But it is love, not merely fate,
That makes a dad we celebrate.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 