A Very Heartfelt Easter Poem

Happy bunny day today

To those who hunt for eggs and pray

And also Lent is done so yay!

That’s all I’ve got, so go away.

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Avatar, And The Poet Who Just Emerged From His Rock

There once was a billion-dollar movie

About some blue guys who were groovy.

I watched it tonight

And now I’ve seen the light

And I’m up to date with 2005. (Woohoo vee).

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A Shaky Poem At Best…

An epileptic guy walked into a pizzeria.

It was a Domino’s, but he wanted Little Seizures.

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I Miss The 90’s

I remember when beer was manly

And women played women’s sports

And the internet had telephone cords

And kids went outside to build forts…

When a penny bought a tootsie roll

And a handshake was a deal

But nowhere in my memory

Were the politicians real.

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Scorpion Owners Just Laugh…

Doggie cuddle

In a puddle;

Heart and muzzle

Under the stars.

Kitty snuggle

Is a struggle;

With every nuzzle

A few more scars.

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A Blessing For Enemies

If at first you fail

And get your ass sent to jail

Then I sincerely hope

You use only liquid soap.

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I’m In A Sorry State

The was a Virginian from Idaho

Who brought from Alaska a pile of snow.

Iowa him a debt

Hawaii’ll pay? Don’t know yet

I’m Missouri-able, and might flee to Mexico.

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A Lonely Knight

I showed up to a young singles event

In plate armor head-to-toe,

But the organizers said I looked Middle Aged

And so I had to go.

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Lessons in Fine Dining

Life’s like an Oreo cookie:

The start and the end are both crappy

But the more stuff you put in the middle

The more likely you are to be happy!

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Woke NASA

“Short people might not play basketball

But that doesn’t mean that they cannot.“

That was the reasoning cited

For making the Kool-Aid man an astronaut.

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