If you’re feeling blue
Because Summer turned to Fall
Just change your name to Brandon
And learn to love football.
Tag Archives: Humor
It’s Almost Like People Are Frustrated And Indifferent For Some Reason…
Anyone remember
When a conversation meant
You tell your partner what you like
And everywhere you went,
Your hopes and dreams and fantasies
And they reply with “K”?
You don’t, which makes me wonder
How we got to this today.
Filed under Poems
One More Try (Guess Who Went To A Bluegrass Show Tonight?)
I was raised out in the country
A couple miles past “out in the sticks”
And I’ve got that country talent
For meetin’ just the most unfaithful chicks;
The Jezebels and the Delilahs,
The ones who’ll love you ‘til the dawn
But when I’m done cookin’ ‘em breakfast
It’s an empty bed, and oh! My wallet’s gone!
Woe is me! Woe is I! Woah, I think I caught her eye…
What’s the harm in making one more try?
Well I’ve tried bein’ a nice guy,
Bein’ bad, and bein’ cool,
But the role I’m best at playin’
Has gotta be the damned romantic fool.
Well I keep a few reminders
Of them in my rogue’s gallery.
If I’d a dollar for each trinket
I could pay a politician’s salary.
Woe is me! Woe is I! Woke up, so I didn’t die.
What’s the harm in making one more try?
Well they’ve got these handy programs
Where women on the worldwide web‘ll
Write about how they love laughter,
Tasty food, travel, hiking, and a rebel.
Seems a shame they’d waste their effort
Fielding mail from some desperate guy
When here I am, arms and heart open
And when it ends she’ll never cry.
Woe is me! Woe is I! Woman please just hit “reply.”
What’s the harm in making one more try?
Sure, when all is done and finished
Her ego’s big and mine’s diminished,
But I keep making one more try…
Just Fine
Today I learned something
That I’d not before seen:
That someone can be “not nice”
Without being mean.
There was no sense of cruelty
In any way, shape, or form…
Just the absolute absence
Of everything warm.
If you took both the cuteness
And claws from a bear
You had basically
Who I met today there:
Something living and breathing
But someone had missed
Installing the place
Where a heart should exist.
Now I wonder whether
I’ve found something new
Or if I’ve just been sheltered
And hadn’t a clue…
Filed under Poems
Hirsute, But Not Her Suitable
There once was a man from St. Mary
Who’d be merry to marry Merry Mary.
Merry Mary, however,
Did forthrightly endeavor
Never ever to wed one so hairy.
Filed under Poems
Realism and Idealism
It would be nice if living were easy.
A life without pain would be grand!
Imagine that life, so sweet and delightful,
Where nothing is worthless or bland.!
I think of that life, where perfect is doable
Then I awake with a start
And go face a day that is average and gray
But hold the dream close in my heart.
Filed under Poems
I wrote this at 8:00 AM
There once was an Airbnb
That played host to none other than me.
The wifi was slow.
Will this upload? I don’t snow…
I guess given time we will see.
Filed under Poems
IT Internships <3
Every day I help people with technical trouble,
Decked out in my polo and three-day neck stubble.
I cycle the power to show them I care
And write “Problem exists between keyboard and chair.”
Filed under Poems
It’ll Get Better Soon… Maybe (Probably Not : )
Yesterday I wrote a joke
And thought I’d write more later.
By later I had decomposed
Into a couch potater.
From the fact ai wrote “potater”
I suspect that you can see
This week has not inspired
My most vibrant artistry.
So tonight I have a fallback
That I’ve used in ages past
Where I write a bit on writing
And use words like “grand” and “vast.”
I make questionable decisions
And lines with uneven meter,
And rap up the inanity
By rhyming with saltpeter.
Filed under Poems
Joke of the Day
Harvey Weinstein, Pablo Escobar, and Joe Biden walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Let me guess… you want me to put it in my body or I’ll never work again?”
Filed under Uncategorized
The Daily Travesty 