Today I got up early
Around 5:00 AM or so. Um,
I spent my morning working
But not writing a poem.
I ate my lunch and read a book
With my mind never immersed
In considering a meter
Nor its counterpart of verse.
This evening after dinner
I took a shower hot
And massaged my wife’s posterior
Without a single thought
Regarding writing poetry,
Yet presently I’m writing it
So if you’d beat your writer’s block
Perhaps you should stop fighting it.
Filed under Poems
I asked my wife for a random word
To inspire my poem tonight.
Here eyes went wide, her gaze went blank,
And she went towards the light.
Now alone and uninspired
I type this tepid verse
But at least it’s quiet in the house
So I guess it could be worse.
Filed under Poems
There’s a man I admire. He’s a rock star
And his lyrics have changed my life.
He accompanied me from a basement alone
To a home with my wonderful wife.
He told me his son has a hero
And it isn’t the guy that you think,
Not the man who’s inspiring millions
But the guy who fixed up the sink.
I’m content now to not be a rockstar,
To embrace all the skills I don’t see
Because somewhere a hero is watching
And perhaps is inspired by me.
I’ll endeavor to be the example
Of the way I think normal should go.
We can all be a hero to someone
Even if it’s someone we don’t know.
Filed under Poems
Oh muse, you flighty angel
Who fills my mind with light,
Why can’t you come when I’m working
And not the middle of the night,
For when I lay my head upon
My pillow, soft and dark,
I do not want to think about
Who would win: A truck or a shark.
Filed under Poems
My most popular poem has 58 likes.
Second place has just 24.
It’s caused me to think, and even consider
Just writing to please the bots more.
After all, if what gets me exposure
Is whatever the A.I. likes best
Is that not the way to become popular
And say to the world, “I’m the best?”
And that, my dear readers, is madness!
It’s crap of the highest degree,
A symptom of how the internet age
Can inspire such insanity.
Art doesn’t need to be popular;
Life doesn’t need to be flawless;
When the rules of the game are to lie, cheat, and steal
Then the answer is just to be lawless.
I’m not going to think about numbers.
I’m not going to worry about views.
I’m going to write about what makes me happy
Instead of what’s big in the news.
And if you are willing to venture
To a world where you’re thought of as “lame”
I think you’ll find what happiness comes
When you too quit the internet game.
Filed under Poems
Indiana Jones was a big success
(Until 2008).
You have to wonder if similar names
Would enjoy a similar fate
Like Alaska Round, detective
Or Iowa Guysummoney?
Idaho Youhadhertoo?
Would people find these funny?
Kansas state thing be abused
Or must we resort to towns
Like Helena -West Helena Johnson
Or, better yet, Cleveland Brown?
Filed under Poems
I have a confession:
I can’t spell dietician.
Autocorrect is not helpful
And abuses its position.
If it has a “c” or “t”
For the ician/itian portion
Forces all my logic
To perform quite the contortion.
I was going to write a poem
Full of whimsy, fun, and laughter
But I lacked aforementioned spellings
That I’d long-since afore-sought after.
Thus you get this poem
Lacking good diet advice.
On the bright side dumbness inspired me
And I guess that’s pretty nice.
Filed under Poems
I awoke with ruffled feathers
On the wrong side of the nest.
A lonely aching filled my heart
Which strained beneath my chest.
I wanted to fly away from here.
Anywhere would do,
But as I spread my wings I found
My group had become two.
Yes indeed, my morning flight
Was joined by some new bird,
And as soon as I had noticed thus
My flock attained a third.
I road the wind below the pair,
The strangers in my sky,
Trying to escape again,
Perhaps to go and die.
And then the birds gave me a caw
And the sun began to rise,
And that is when this lonely bird
Did come to realize
What a difference can be made
By an extra pair of eyes.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 