There are two days of the year
Where fireworks and beer
Are acceptable for neighbors to abuse
And yet some neighbors (ours)
Must be from Venus instead of Mars
Because tonight’s the night they picked to light the fuse…
Tag Archives: Life
Unlock Next Year’s Poem For $99.99/Month (50% Off)?
I had a lovely afternoon
About which you’ll never hear
Because I’m saving the clever poems
For probably sometime next year.
Filed under Poems
A Limerick Reflecting On Labor And One’s Ephemeral Separation Therefrom On The Occasion Of A Holiday
There once was a break in my work
When I didn’t have to go to work
And my days had no work
And the absence of work
Was accentuated by not going to work.
Filed under Poems
Jazz
Some music tells a story
Through its lyrics and its tune
While other songs can set a mood
Akin to Clair de Lune,
But gather up some saxophones
And play the notes you shouldn’t
And enjoy the kind of angry zen
That other music couldn’t.
You play between the melody
And skip around the beat,
Lighting cigars from wreckage
Of that old Chernobyl heat,
Not thinking of the church or state
Or fighting that good fight
But hearing without listening
And feeling things be right.
When every chord is almost sweet
And every stab of pain
Invites the opportunity
For dancing in the rain
You’ll know you’ve found the answer
And a chill runs down your spine
Because your call’s important
So please stay on the line.
The Golden Age Of Hair Loss
Of all the times to be alive
Today is number one.
We’ve cured most bad diseases
And optimized our fun.
Our problems are the first-world type,
But what still seems kind of weird
Is that I was born when it’s fashionable
To be a bald guy with a beard.
Filed under Poems
The Real Party Is Getting 7-9 Hours Of Sleep Every Night
It’s Friday night
And the bar is hoppin’.
Folks are tired
From Christmas shoppin’.
All around
Drinks off are toppin’
And fists do fly
And guys be droppin’
But I don’t know
What pills they’re poppin’
‘Cause my bed said “Hi”
And into it I drop in.
Filed under Poems
Be Me, A 30-Year-Old Child
Wrapping paper tube
In my mind a light saber
Wife is not impressed
Filed under Poems
Care To Wager How Long It Lasts?
So I was complaining (as most people do)
About things that I cannot halt
Like children addicted to iPads and also
Society as a gestalt
So I turned on a game at 10 in the morning
That finished at 10 in the night
And proceeded to burn my complaining permit
And accept that the world is all right.
Filed under Poems
Heroes
There’s a man I admire. He’s a rock star
And his lyrics have changed my life.
He accompanied me from a basement alone
To a home with my wonderful wife.
He told me his son has a hero
And it isn’t the guy that you think,
Not the man who’s inspiring millions
But the guy who fixed up the sink.
I’m content now to not be a rockstar,
To embrace all the skills I don’t see
Because somewhere a hero is watching
And perhaps is inspired by me.
I’ll endeavor to be the example
Of the way I think normal should go.
We can all be a hero to someone
Even if it’s someone we don’t know.
Filed under Poems
I’m, Uh, Wrapping Your Gifts? (Hehehe)
It’s the holiday season
Which is great for this reason:
It’s the only time of the year
That fully guilt-free
You can cut down a tree
And tell people “Don’t come in here!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 