I forgot to write tonight
So I type as I brush my teeth.
If I don’t finish quickly
There’s no telling what
Tag Archives: Life
Yuletide Reflections
I was looking for a winter poem
That I’d already written.
I looked back through my archives
And read rhymes old me was spittin’.
Apparently I’m cynical
And full of twists and turns
And wrote more words like “Dumbass”
Than “yuletides” or “yearns”.
This Winter I’ll aspire
To be merrier than that,
But Winter’s in December
So for now yo mama’s fat.
Filed under Poems
When The Kamala Voters Go On a “Sex Strike”
The Donald got elected
And that makes me so depressed
‘Cause now I can’t go out at night
Wearing my Sunday best
To hit on green-haired feminists
Who think that I am Satan.
Oh well, I have my freedom
And more time for masturbatin’.
Filed under Poems
If At First You Don’t Succeed…
There twice was an unlikeable chick
Who expressed her detractors were “Ick”.
She lost to a man
With a very fake tan
And I’m not opposed to the schtick.
Filed under Poems
Privilege
To be born at disadvantage
Is a blessing many lack,
For the many born with health or wealth
Will each forever lack
The chance to earn their happiness
Through overcoming trials.
They’ll only know resenment
In their peers’ flattering smiles.
But those who overcome their birth
Achieve both admiration
And strength of will and character
From their determination.
Why would you trade your only chance
At your heroic rise
For merely money undeserved
From people you despise?
Why not become the person
Who you worshipped as a child?
If you reject the spice of life
Your pleasures will be mild.
Instead of playing victim
In your one and only shot
Recast yourself as victor
And pursue the life you’ve got.
Filed under Poems
Who’s Stopping You?
Once upon a time
My default face was smiling
Under burden of conformity
To the status of “not bad”.
In that far off kingdom
My heart was reconciling
My duty to the status quo
And the feelings that I had.
A princess in a tower
Which was formed of graying stone
And tasked with daily maintenance
Of contentment with conviction.
The dragon tasked with guarding me
Was a creation of my own
And the “fines” and “goods” I murmured
Masked my inner benediction.
Once upon a time
I let my default smile fade
And the gray stone tower crumbled
And I bade the dragon eat me
But without the need for outer peace
My boldness was repaid
And I found the dragon of my mind
Had no strength to defeat me.
The kingdom of the “good enough”
Is a fairy tale now.
My default face is smiling
But my smile is not a scam.
I smile as a person who
No longer wonders “how”,
Who smiles not to inoffend
But because of who I am.
Filed under Poems
Pro Choices?
Some people put pronouns in their bio.
Some people post proverbs instead.
The two groups both share a common belief
That the others are off in the head.
Filed under Poems
Postmodern Sports
People pay for paper
To play games of skill and chance
Where whoever bought the biggest bad
Will do the victory dance.
Boys will bash their brains in
To gain a yard or two
To prove their color’s mascot
Can score more points than you.
Folks will flee their families
To clock another hour
In hopes they’ll earn an office
That will make their colleagues cower.
I could go on forever
Making metaphors like these
But instead I’ll pose a “Let’s suppose”
To replace pastimes like these.
When you look past the colors
And the titles and the flags
It’s really just a contest
Of the biggest moneybags
So why not have a contest
Where we burn a stack of cash
And the champion of the world is he
With the longest-burning ash?
This money-burning contest
Will be framed as needing skill
And is an excellent opportunity
To sell a snack/drink/pill.
Heck, make a legal system
Where your life goes up in flame
And share it on a TV show
To keep building the game!
Then fans of sports and politics
And work and sex and war
Can celebrate the waste of time
While laughing at the poor.
Filed under Poems
My Marriage
She says “What?”
I say “Your butt.”
Then we both smile
And snuggle a while.
Filed under Poems
Social Media
There once was a dancing woman
Wearing as little as legal
Dancing while some AI hip-hop played
Advertising food for her beagle.
A number of bots decided
It was worth watching ten million times.
It’s probably better on TikTok
But hey, my version rhymes!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 