There once was a fascist ideal
That stirred up political zeal.
It showed only news
Which supported its views
Then mandated we see its appeal.
*They have my family… help!
Tag Archives: True Story
Ever Have That Dream That Happens Over and Over? Yeah…
So today my poem
Is autobiographical,
But that doesn’t mean it’s boring
Nor that it is bull…
I got up at 6:00 AM
And worked for 9 long hours,
After which I got undressed
For three back-to-back showers.
During shower number three
My brain turned on a sec
And instead of thinking, “Ooh, warm water”
It thought “Oh shoot! Oh heck!
“I was supposed to take a test
“That’s due at 5:00 PM!”
It thus proceeded to haw
And also, a bit, to hem.
Well, I expect to get a C
In the class who test I missed,
But instead of being angry, angsty,
Nervous, sad, or pissed
I decided to look on
The sunny side of life:
I know my dreams can come true now!
Now who’s that with my wife…?
Filed under Poems
‘Cause Chicks Love Poetry
When my friends ask me
“Why are you still single?”
I tell them my hobby
Is sitting, staring at my phone, trying to think of a satisfying rhyme for single
So I can finish my poem
That I write on my blog-ingle.
Filed under Poems
Penne For Your Thoughts?
What if, when the world was new
And nothing breathed and nothing grew
A race of beasts made of spaghetti
Were getting set and getting ready
To build cities, slim and tall,
In which they’d gather, one and all,
Until the dinosaurs emerged
And the noodle cities were submerged
Beneath the oceans, wide and blue,
Until they used their magic to
Bring down a stone wide as ten miles
To do away with rude reptiles.
Now, again the Earth was theirs.
Out of the ocean they built stairs
Only to find, in the dinosaurs’ place
A young and vibrant human race.
This time instead of genocide
By meteor ten miles wide
They made the human race instead
Love noodles much like they loved bread.
So when the noodle race was old
And slightly stale and very cold
They smiled, knowing all was not lost. The
Human race would make more pasta!
Filed under Poems
In Other News, The Pipe Organ Will Be Renamed “The Vapiano”
Today at the store
I saw advertised
“Raspberry oranges”
Which I soon surmised
Were simply blood oranges
Rebranded so they
Would not offend those
Whose balls went away.
Now as days get longer
And evenings get hotter
I give thanks that raspberries
Are thicker than water.
If I buy some candy
With a blue-raspberry taste
I’ll know royal blood
Has great suffering faced.
I’ll go to church
For the raspberry of Christ.
Instead of blood running cold
I’ll make raspberry ice!
Yes, the pussification
Of America is sweet
‘Til the raspberry of Patriots
Signals final defeat!
Filed under Poems
December 23rd Urd Urd…
‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas
And all through the all through the house
Everyone was everyone was wondering
“Why the **** is everything echoey?”
Filed under Poems
Breaking: Illuminati Leader Identified At Last!
One day, a cat suggested
“Wouldn’t it be great
“If we walked up to humans,
“Who we obviously hate,
“And acted cute and fluffy
“‘While we multiply their struggles?”
That cat is world famous now;
His name is Mr. Snuggles.
Filed under Poems
Domesticity 2.0
I built two homes in my mind
On a foundation of good intent.
One was perfect, charming, yellow,
But alas away it went.
The second house is red and black
And full of song and sharing,
And though it also may away
It’s worthy of my daring.
This darker home reminds me
Of the prayers I spoke when young,
Of Autumn wind and springtime rain
And hymns borne from my tongue,
A home of possibilities
Where nothing goes unsaid.
God willing, we’ll build it together;
Until then, it’s in my head.
Filed under Poems
I wrote this at 8:00 AM
There once was an Airbnb
That played host to none other than me.
The wifi was slow.
Will this upload? I don’t snow…
I guess given time we will see.
Filed under Poems
It’ll Get Better Soon… Maybe (Probably Not : )
Yesterday I wrote a joke
And thought I’d write more later.
By later I had decomposed
Into a couch potater.
From the fact ai wrote “potater”
I suspect that you can see
This week has not inspired
My most vibrant artistry.
So tonight I have a fallback
That I’ve used in ages past
Where I write a bit on writing
And use words like “grand” and “vast.”
I make questionable decisions
And lines with uneven meter,
And rap up the inanity
By rhyming with saltpeter.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 