Tag Archives: Truth

Dear Womxn…

The title’s not a typo

But a movement that began

Because the words “women” and “woman”

Include the words “men” and “man.”

I support those of all genders

Whether pronounceable or not

But there are a few more words

Of which ye womxn haven’t thought:

Mandatory, mandate

Manuscript and mandolin,

Manufacture, mandril,

Manhole, manager, mansion,

Manitoba, manometric,

And we haven’t seen

Manservant, mend, mental, and menstruate,

Manhandle, mangosteen,

Plus Truman, human, lumen,

Mandrake and manipulate,

Manifest, manageable,

Mannerly and mandarinate,

Mandatory, mandragora,

Manchineels and manticore,

Manicure, manifest, manubriums,

And over 1,600 more.

The point that I am making

Is that “man” shows up a lot;

It’s just a common phoneme,

Not a patriarchal plot.

So don’t mention Womxn to me

Or their mantras, manifestos,

Or other such manure.

Now excuse me, I’m making pesto.

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We Need A Common Enemy

I think the USA should change

Their national anthem to

Taylor Swift’s rendition of

“Look what you made me do.”

It would soothe racial tensions

And bring the unity we lack

‘Cause everyone would kneel

And beg the feds to change it back.

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Irony’s Trump Card

People on the street

Waving Confederate flags

Say “You lost, move on.”

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Hidden In Plain Sight

I am the bird who built her nest

Beside the onramp to I5.

On the road mens’ eyes are glued

As they drive to their servitude.

Millions see me every day

But almost none will notice.

They lose the chance to look at me

Because they have somewhere to be.

I eat a bug and flap my wings

And smell fresh air and gasoline.

They think they need the Earth and Sky

And long for what they cannot buy.

They can fly to planets

I’ll never know exist,

Yet I don’t mind my being small.

I am the freest of them all.

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False-Rape Culture

The marriage rate is going down

And many tears are falling.

The good men left and left behind

Some eyes bloodshot from bawling.

Men no longer mentor

Any women that they pay

Because they fear the power

Of what said women might say

And smart men will no longer talk

To strangers in a skirt

‘Cause they’re one false “j’accuse” away

From sleeping in the dirt.

Cats think that this circumstance

Is surely heavensent:

They live with 30-something women

Whose exes pay the rent.

Meanwhile the men rebuild themselves

From fighters into monks

And leave the chasing women

To the inner-city punks.

The West now walks on eggshells.

There is no doubt about it:

The feminists have made their beds

And now they lie about it.

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Reason #4,231,277 I Love Texas

You can make a salad

Out of Jell-o or potatoes,

One with cheese and croutons

Or bacon, lettuce, and tomatoes.

And though you can make a salad

Out of nothing more than fruit, you

Chose to make a kale salad…

I have no choice but to shoot you.

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All I Want For Christmas…

If you ever give me a puppy

I want you to name it “Trollop”

So I can shout “Trollop”

At the top of my lungs in the park

And not go to prison.

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A Poem Is…

A vague sentence

Full of supercilious words

Spread out asymmetrically

Over multiple

Lines,

Rhyming

Optional.

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Meanwhile Men Just Sit, Kill Animals In Silence, And Love One Another

If you look I think you’ll find

That women are mean to their own kind:

They’ll criticize you if you’re pretty.

They’ll be mean if you look shitty.

They’ll tease you if they can’t see your butt

But if they can then you’re a slut.

They’ll mock you if you’ve got one pal, though

If you are popular they’ll call you shallow.

They’ll fill your life with only hate

But I’m a man. How ’bout a date?

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This Is a Poem Defying Negative Social Outlooks Towards Men For Innocent Behaviors, Specifically “Mansplaining”

I’m often accused of “mansplaining”

When what I teach just isn’t landing.

But never once have I met a woman

Who I accused of womanunderstanding.

So why do we assume that men are spreaders

And not that chicks on buses seem to shrink?

I await answers with manticipation

‘Cause I’m curious to know what women think.

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