Tag Archives: America

The Vanishing Glass

They can trap us in their zoo

Behind their walls of glass

And teach us social boundaries

That we’re not allowed to pass,

Feed us just enough bad news

To keep our anger stoked

So we don’t see the sedatives

With which we’re being poked.

We the livestock draw the crowds

Of wealthy and elected

Whose power cries more loudly

Than the souls they have neglected.

They say they’ll cure our poverty

If they can have their way

Then toast with million dollar wine

And fly their jets away.

We watch the birds who fly outside

This zoo we somehow cherish.

We think that if we join them

We would starve or freeze or perish,

Yet the glass is not unbreakable

In our patron’s steel zoo.

Some of us still crave the sky

And so I ask: Do you?

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The Answer, At Last!

All the single ladies

Ask where all the good men went,

Dreaming of the good old days

When the six-foot-plus millionaires

Without egos or exes

Would contact them conveniently

And buy them stuff

All without leaving the house.

Meanwhile the six-foot-plus

Drama-free millionaires

Are in their basements

Roleplaying car thieves

And writing bad poetry blogs.

You’re welcome.

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Adventures In Milk Purchasing

I am a human

Who lives in a place

Where food can be purchased to eat.

Some take that for granted,

Some think it’s a nuisance,

And I think it’s pretty darn neat.

But sometimes I wonder

About fellow shoppers

Who bought before I came along.

I used to think fondly

Of my fellow humans*

But now I have proof I was wrong.

*This is a lie, but the photo is real

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Pokemon: When A Binder Becomes A Portfolio

He wanted to be the very best

Like no one ever was.

He played the games and bought the cards.

His reasoning? “Just ’cause.”

Now he travels across the land

Rich and fancy free

Because he sold old merchandise

To folks like you and me.

It took some courage along the way

To claim his rightful place;

His base set boosters unopened still

By some amazing grace

Kept up in value as time went on.

The prices didn’t fall

Because of middle class ’90s kids

Who had to catch ’em all.

And so for all the neopets

Forgotten in the cloud,

The baseball rookies who faded out,

The fads without a crowd

There rose among them a modern god,

Electric mouse and friends

That makes you money enough to buy

The very world we must defend.

That’s why I’m buying at Toys R Us

Instead of buying stock.

Who know what franchise will soon become

The next Pokémon or pet rock?

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Please Move Progressively Somewhere Else

If you don’t like the country

In which you make your home

Then see the world as options

To the places you might roam.

And if you’re in a country

You dislike but can’t depart

You are in our prayers,

In our thoughts, and in our heart.

But if you can leave your country

And insult it while you stay

Then do us all a favor

And shut up or move away.

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One More Time (Anatomy Of Pop)

I met you, romantic prospect,

At a facility frequented by listeners of this genre.

It was unrealistically perfect

To look upon ya.

Then I sang about nothing!

Then I sang the same nothing!

Then the same nothing again

One more time!

I mentioned your physical appearance

But also a personal detail

To convince listeners of this genre

That you, romantic prospect, are real.

Then I sang about nothing!

Then the exact same nothing!

Then a slightly lengthened version of the same nothing

(With backup singers)

One more time!

Then I sang again about nothing!

(Because choruses, yo)

Then again about nothing!

(Because choruses bro)

One more time about nothing!

(Yay radio…)

One more time!

Fade and repeat ad infinitum…

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Dating A CEO

I did some ideation

On the topic “you and me”

And I want to move the needle

To upgrade our synergy.

I figured I would reach out

And shift your paradigm

To show how being in my wheelhouse

Is an impactful use of time.

So let’s break through the clutter

Via disruptive innovation

And prepare mind share initiatives

Through casual conversation

And I hope that going forward

Thanks to holistic execution

This relationship of ours

Will have a win-win resolution!

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DELTA (Didn’t Even Leave The Airport)

Delta is an airline,

Or at least it claims to be.

It will get from A to B

Though via C and D.

Most planes will leave the gate on time

Though few will fly away.

From now on I’ll fly United

Where they acknowledge everything’s not okay.

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#LookBothWays

I saw the golden headlights

Driving towards me in the rain.

I heard the tires squealing

And the brake lines shout of pain.

I smelled the burning rubber

And sensed the car careening

As I changed my Facebook status

So my life could have some meaning.

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Walking On Eggshells

Humpty Dumpty leapt from a wall

HD was determined to just end it all.

Later on on a talk show

Some Hollywood actor

Said being named “Humpty” may have just been a factor.

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