Tonight events happened that occupied time
And now I must sleep and dream of a mime.
I probably won’t, but it goes to show
I don’t always rhyme “time” with “rhyme”, my bro.
Tag Archives: Life
Perhaps The Most Extraordinarily Literal Poem Ever
Tonight, I lay in bed and rest
So tomorrow I can make a quest
Southward past the Emerald City
Where law enforcement’s really shitty.
I’m going there to see my girl,
Upon whom all my thoughts do swirl.
We’re working on my latest book
And soon you’ll get an early look!
So yeah, that’s all I have to say…
Just a life update and marketing play.
She is great and so are you
And now I need to sleep. Yahoo!
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
Type A Vs. Type Hey!
Some people spend their lives
Trying hard to do things right,
Making perfectly circular pizzas
And working through the night.
Other people live their lives
By doing what is fun
Though the pizza ends up looking
Like art the family dog has done.
Perfectionists unite, I say
And make the rocket ships
While the do-it-my-way folks
Make new flavors for the chips.
The harmony is perfect
Though perfectionists will glare
Because the have-some-funners
Smile back without a care.
But if the pizza’s spherical
Instead of round and flat
Take a bite: It tastes all right
And you’re the first to make it that!
Filed under Poems
My Evening Routine
I’m writing this poem
As I’m brushing my teeth,
Hunting down food bits
All hidden beneath
The sharp, off-white bone spurs
That jut from my gum.
My teeth are all clean now
But my rhymes are still dumb.
Filed under Poems
At Least I Made An Effort This Time?
Every other day it seems
I write a poem good,
And every other day
I say I probably should.
Today I settled in between,
Insofar as it’s eight lines long
And includes some funny words
Like spelunker and dipthong.
Filed under Poems
For The One
I love how ordinary days
Can set my heart alight.
I love the normal, glorious ways
Your face can glow so bright,
How just to fall asleep with you
Makes my entire week
And how many ways we say “I love you”
With eyes and blushing cheeks.
I’m glad I make you feel safe
When life just isn’t fair.
My heart is yours and much more full
Than my poor head of hair.
Filed under Poems
Petty Thoughts
One Wednesday a mouse got into the house
Of the woman I love, heart and soul.
She has a cat who’s remarkably fat
But knows not its mouse-catching role.
Her friends have a pug. He’s remarkably ugly
In an adorable way.
He got rewarded because we reported
He pooped twice in the same day.
All of these pets and the prizes they get
Cannot help my heart softly wish
That just for a day I was treated the way
The people I love treat their fish.
Filed under Poems
I’m Officially Trademarking The Pathetic Two-Liner
Tonight we played games ‘til 11:00 PM
Which is a good reason for short poems ™
Filed under Poems
Bucket Lists
Somebody jumped out of a plane one day
With a bedsheet, said “Wahoo!”
And a generation of millennials will decide if they lived
By whether or not they did that too.
Filed under Poems
The Whole World Is Just The WWE Now, But Without The Clever Storylines
There once was a woman whose hair
Was, due to alopecia, not there.
One guy smacked a comic
And I find it ironic
That anyone still seems to care.
Filed under Poems
