I’ve always been an ally
To animals and butterflies,
So I wanted to play piano
For the beasts. Never did I surmise
That tickling the ivories
Would, in fact, lead to my demise.
I thought it would be cute,
But the elephant thought otherwise.
Tag Archives: poems
I’m Only A Little Salty About This Guest Poem by Katrina Ivers
Because you are a chemical
You don’t wear a size nine shoe
But you are so oft-forgotten
No one knows that but you.
We all worry so darn much about
Your friend Sodium’s consumption
We think you aren’t an important part
And that’s an erroneous assumption!
Why Sodium all on her own
Is a terribly temperamental sort
Prone to explosions when meeting water
So her friend Chloride we should court.
Alas most people barely passed
Their college chemistry classes
So by ignoring Chloride, friends,
We risk the explosion of our asses.
Are you bad enough to be a guest poet? Email me your work to find out! TheDailyTravesty@yahoo.com
Filed under Poems
And Don’t Even Get Me Started On The Necking…
If I were a turtle
I would be more fertile.
I’d have more girl turtles to court.
Also nothing but fertile
Rhymes well with turtle
And turtles don’t care if you’re short.
Filed under Poems
Still Want Super Powers?
Super strength at tea parties,
Super speed in bed,
Shoot lasers from your eyes
Whenever you say “I thee wed,”
Flight while on an airplane,
Access to Betamax knowledge,
Or being a straight white male
But only when applying to college.
Filed under Poems
This One’s For All The First Graders (And Middle Schoolers)
There are things I’ll never knew
‘Cause I’ll will not have eating glue
But since I eated it I confess
This poem’s grammars has not make sense.
Filed under Poems
#LookBothWays
I saw the golden headlights
Driving towards me in the rain.
I heard the tires squealing
And the brake lines shout of pain.
I smelled the burning rubber
And sensed the car careening
As I changed my Facebook status
So my life could have some meaning.
Toes
There aren’t very many
Who do not have any.
There’s a few who have fewer than ten.
But if you meet the ten-plussers
Who seem proud and aren’t fussers
They are almost certainly men.
Filed under Poems
Perhaps It’s Good Not To Remember Your Dreams
“Cyber chickens do not deserve Yolanda”
Was the first thought to pop into my head
When I sat down to write today’s poem
After exiting my way-too-comfy bed.
I don’t know the meaning of that musing
And likely it has no meaning at all
But if you are Yolanda do not settle
For a cyber chicken who isn’t on the ball.
Filed under Poems
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