Today we express gratitude
For all that we enjoy.
I’m grateful I can eat a lot
Of meat instead of soy,
That I’m allowed to shoot a turkey
But can buy one at a store,
And for fuzzy fleece blankets.
That’s what I’m thankful for!
Tag Archives: Short
Am I Transgender?
When I was born, the doctor
Did declare I was a boy,
But as I’ve grown big and older
I recognized the ploy.
I want to live a simple life
And never go to work
Which means I want to be a woman
(Either that or I’m a jerk).
Filed under Poems
The Silent Poet: This Is Why We Hibernate…
Amidst the misty morning,
Atop the naïve snow,
The thin white wind blew, chilly,
‘Neath sun’s unearthly glow.
The living glass of needles
Lay beneath the stalwart fir
And I, the bear, thought all this
But, alas, could only say “grr.”
Filed under Poems
A Friendly Poem For The Boss On Your Last Day
For all of the work
U’ve put into my life,
Can I ever thank you enough?
Kause of you I can say
Yeah, life’s terrible, but hey! Now I
Own a whole lot more stuff!
Ur name here <~~~~
Filed under Poems
Priorities
Gary was outnumbered
A thousand to one.
He had some chopsticks,
They all had guns,
But he screamed “for freedom!”
And charged at the rest.
I cried behind a rock and lived
So my battle cry was best.
Filed under Poems
For Those Of You Wondering…
Whether getting or giving,
As long as you’re living,
No matter how epic the thrift
It will always be true…
(Just between me and you)
Life insurance is a bad birthday gift.
Filed under Poems
You Expected A Rhyme? I Expected A Nurturing Home Environment. Ha!
If you’re the type of person
Who’d name their child “Splorch”
I want to meet you
Because my name is Splorch
And my parents left me
When I was young
And you’re probably them.
Filed under Poems
There’s Joy In Mudville Again!
Blair Walsh missed three tries tonight.
He didn’t have a choice.
The fans will go home sobbing,
But Mighty Casey will rejoice.
Filed under Poems
Jumping For Joy?
They said: Let go your sorrows,
Let go all your regrets,
Let go your fear of failure,
Your worries and your debts.
For a while I was happier
As you probably have seen.
Next time I’ll release my stress
After I leave the trampoline.
Filed under Poems
*With The Exception Of A Few (You Know Who You Are), This Was More A Matter Of Finding A Proper Rhyme Than Actual Disrespect
I respect dumbells.
They have a valuable job.
By lifting them up we grow stronger
Faster than eating corn on the cob.
I don’t respect bad drivers
And people from Northeastern states*.
I suggest we rename them “dumbells”
And call dumbells “single-hand weights.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 