There was an affordable city
That wasn’t all dirty and shitty.
Then it made the news
And earned plenty of views
And Californians are coming… a pity!
Tag Archives: Travesty
HR Strikes Again
Barbecue at work.
Brought wieners and hot fresh buns.
Now I’m unemployed.
Filed under Poems
Poems From My Vacation 6 – Victoria, BC
The Gardens of Butchart are marvelous,
A sprawling Canadian eden
Where flowers abound over hillock and mound
And employees spend all their day’s weedin’.
The Gardens are themed geographically,
With Italian and Japanese spaces
And the gelato shop sold, for $8 a pop,
Icy treats to put smiles on faces.
Nearby was the Butterfly Garden
With bugs, birds, turtles, and more
And you could just sit as the butterflies flit
And the lizards abound on the floor.
Overall, ‘twas a wonderful venture
Into flora and fauna domestic.
If you find yourself in Victoria too
Both sites are grand and majestic.
Filed under Poems
Another Reason Not To Trust Rhyming Dictionaries
I think if I were an animal
I’d be a sea anemone
Because they’re not a popular animal
And I like to be left alone.
Filed under Poems
Luckily My Bills Only Go Up 10 Percent A Year
When you read a job application
And ask what the position pays
And the interviewer says “It’s minimum wage
“But each year there’s a 3-percent raise!”
Filed under Poems
New Faces, Same 4th Quarter Meltdowns
The Seahawks were back on the field
With a brand new head coach that we wield.
This is so nee and awesome!
Wait? Our D’s still a possum?
And yep, seems our fate is still sealed.
Filed under Poems
This Is The Entire Extent Of My Political Activism
I have a cat named Marshmallow.
He’s fat, lazy, stupid, and more.
I urge you to write him on your ballot
For president, 2024.
Filed under Poems
Pokemon In A Nutshell
Fire doesn’t like water
And water doesn’t like grass
And grass doesn’t like bugs
Because bugs are a pain in the ass.
Bugs don’t like rocks
And rocks don’t like fighting
And fighting is afraid of psychics
Because they say the right thing.
Psychics don’t like ghosts
And ghosts don’t like the dark
And darkness hates fairies
Because they hang out in the park.
Fairies don’t like poison
And poison hates the ground
And ground does not like ice
Nor the British sterling pound.
Ice, of course, hates fire
And there are dragons in here too.
Normal stuff hates getting punched.
See, it’s super simple! Whoo!
Filed under Poems
Before They Were Famous
He may seem like a regular guy
But there’s something you don’t know:
There’s a secret god of rock and roll
Inside this Average Joe.
He can make a room of peasants dance
And blow the roof off nightly
But he also has to pay the bills
To not appear unsightly.
He’s a part-time rockstar with a full-time job,
An overdriven ax and a name tag (“Bob”).
He’s bohemian, rhapsodic, and his stairway to heaven
Just happens to start at the 7/11.
So next time you go out to purchase a slurpee
Just know that the guy who you pay
Might just be the someone you blast as you’re driving,
A new-age Bon Jovi someday,
And know that berating him ‘cause your burrito
Is stale is annoying and wrong
And he’ll write down your name so when he finds fame
Your behavior will be a hit song.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 