Tag Archives: Worse than usual

Three Stupid Little Poems That You May Or May Not Enjoy

“Tough Stough”

They’re was once a person

Who said that life is though.

I think life was thougher for him

Because he was dumb, yo.

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“Follow Your Dreams”

It’s hard being a teenage mom.

I’m really not a fan,

But I think I have it harder

Given I’m a middle-aged man.

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“Find Yourself”

Iodine fluorine

Yttrium ununoctium

Calcium nitrogen

Rhenium astatine

Thorium iodine sulfur

Yttrium ununoctium

Argon rhenium

Uranium neodysium erbium

Tungsten oxygen krypton dysprosium oxygen

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Political Philosophy 101

Sometimes a thought

Is not what it ought,

A fact that, alas, you can’t change.

But type it in bold

And voila! Behold

It’s still pointless, but I had you going for a while.

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‘Ow Ore-ible!

I said I was her rock,

Her anchor, her wall.

She sold me to a mining company.

Alas, that is all.

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Haven’t Done One Of These For A While…

All that glimmers

Is not blue.

It isn’t helpful

But its true.

Yes I’m tired;

You were right.

You are welcome,

And good night.

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You Expected A Rhyme? I Expected A Nurturing Home Environment. Ha!

If you’re the type of person

Who’d name their child “Splorch”

I want to meet you

Because my name is Splorch

And my parents left me

When I was young

And you’re probably them.

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Oh, Also I’m Sick

Sitting on a bus

Waiting to go home.

I don’t feel creative at all.

The driver is gone.

If this moment were art

It’d be the plain red stripe on a hotel wall.

Dogs are pretty.

Pretties are not always dogs.

If you thought you’d be happy

With this poem’s conclusion

Reread the first two lines.

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Now There’s A Joke!

Golf

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Hint: I’m Burning The American Southeast In Effigy

It’s my birthday.

The Seahawks lost.

You may or may not draw

An accurate conclusion

Of my happiness (or lack thereof)

Based on that information.

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Brought To You By Guest Author “Cal Endar.” (Not Really)

I want to talk about the months

And where their names came from.

Please know all of these are true

Even if they sound dumb.

Jan and Ferb Uary

Were brothers who shared a belle.

Jan got mad and misspelled Ferb’s name

But it all ended up pretty well.

March is based on Mcdonald’s logo.

April was the belle Jan and Ferb liked.

May is a grammatically better version of “can.”

June’s the month that nobody liked.

July was Julie, but was sad about Ferb

And got misspelled too ’cause she was so stressed.

August was named by a Texan who

In his accent said the words “I guessed.”

September was God’s gift to calendar’s everywhere.

October was named by someone who thought Ctober was lame.

Nov and Dec Ember were also brothers

But are last in the year ’cause they both had a stupid name.

I hope you feel more knowledgable

About months, but you probably don’t.

I hope you share this with your friends

But if you’re a smart person you probably won’t.

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Lullaby For A Cynical Man-Child

Grizzly bear

Sitting there

Playing with

My ex-wife’s hair.

He seems happy.

She seems dead.

Yes I’m morbid.

Now, off to bed.

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