Tonight events happened that occupied time
And now I must sleep and dream of a mime.
I probably won’t, but it goes to show
I don’t always rhyme “time” with “rhyme”, my bro.
Tonight events happened that occupied time
And now I must sleep and dream of a mime.
I probably won’t, but it goes to show
I don’t always rhyme “time” with “rhyme”, my bro.
Filed under Poems
Tonight, I lay in bed and rest
So tomorrow I can make a quest
Southward past the Emerald City
Where law enforcement’s really shitty.
I’m going there to see my girl,
Upon whom all my thoughts do swirl.
We’re working on my latest book
And soon you’ll get an early look!
So yeah, that’s all I have to say…
Just a life update and marketing play.
She is great and so are you
And now I need to sleep. Yahoo!
Filed under Poems, To the Reader
There once was a poet in bed
With ideas flush in his head,
But he stayed ip too late
And, as was his fate,
He dashed down a limerick instead.
Filed under Poems
Today I made some cheesecake
That I got from a mix.
I mixed a lime and whipping cream
With several cream cheese sticks,
But when I picked the mixer
To taste the final yum
I realized I forgot to add the mix
And yes, I’m really that dumb!
Filed under Poems
My lady likes a hairy man
Who eats his food straight from a can,
Walks silently around the house
And saved her from a wild mouse.
Her dream guy sleeps both long and hard.
Around him she lets down her guard.
He can snuggle up at night
And make the whole world feel alright.
She likes the feeling of his tongue,
Not worried he’s no longer young.
The only worry I have is that
Is this guy me, or is it her cat?
Filed under Poems
Worcestershire and Draught
Were about to get married,
In love for the rest of their life
But the priest looked upset,
And said “I am sorry
“But I can’t pronounce you, husband and wife.”
Filed under Poems
My mommy was a mother
Since before I was a brother
To my sister, and she kissed her
And tucked her into bed.
Then my mommy had another
(That was me), and then no other;
She was done, and though now I’m fun
Back then we cried ‘til fed.
And feed us well my mother did,
Both me and that darn other kid,
And I’ve attested she never rested
‘Til we kids were satisfied.
Then we got bigger and less cute;
One could walk and one could scoot,
After baby-proofing and pillow floofing
She probably wanted to hide.
Alas, we found her hiding places
And made her wipe our snotty faces.
She loved us still, despite the thrill
Having long since departed.
And then we started going to school,
Which meant less time mopping our drool.
With phlegmless floors she still did chores
As we laughed and said “I farted.”
And even when my sister was bad
(I never was, just ask our dad)
With grace and calm she’d slap her palm
Anywhere but on our faces.
When we got big and pubescent
She gave us the finest present
Like love and stuff, always enough
Yet gave us private spaces.
And oh the years of meals she cooked,
Though overworked and overlooked!
Oh the the years and sweat and tears
Endured by her for us! She
Will be remembered evermore,
For all of this, but even more:
She inspired my art. She’s old, but not a fart.
I end this poem thusly.
Filed under Poems
I know a guy who never buys anything
Unless he can find it on sale.
I know another who loves unicorns;
They’re both into fair retails.
Filed under Poems
I love you
With all my heart,
Like hobos love
A shopping cart,
Like children laugh
When people fart,
When we are near
Or far apart.
Filed under Poems
“What comes up must come down”
My teacher told me with a frown,
But here’s a thing that I don’t get:
Why isn’t that true for government debt?
Filed under Poems